Everyone's heard jazz, but how many people have truly heard jazz? Everyone, I just said that. Now that you're paying attention, here's everything you need to know about jazz.

There are many different styles of jazz. Modal Jazz is more traditional and melodic. Free Jazz is, ironically, made by slaves. Bebop is highly infectious. Hard-bop is always fatal.

Jazz was invented in 1981 by "Jazzie" Jester McDonough. He styled his creation "jazz," after a type of music he'd heard on the radio.

Jazz is a lot of things, but I'll tell you what it's not: a staged fight between roosters for the purposes of gambling and entertainment.

A blazing Miles Davis trumpet solo is one of only two things better than sex. The other? Getting oral while eating a grande taco combo.

Above all, jazz isn't just a type of music. It's also a perennially-average basketball team.