Drunk Hillel Chick: Oh my god you guys, I'm like so wasted. I can't even stand.
Amy: Really? How much did you have?
DHC: God, probably like fourteen glasses of wine. I can't even see straight. Is that like an alien on your t-shirt?
Jen: No, it's a starving child from Darfur.
DHC: Oh man, those Darfurians are too skinny. They should try some of my aunt Eileen's latke's or my uncle Murray's noodle kugel. It's so good.
Drunk Hillel Chick stumbles over a book on the floor and falls on her face
Amy: Drunk Chick, you know that's not real wine that they have at Hillel right? They're only allowed to serve grape juice.
DHC: What? Oh man, then it must have been those five shots I did before I went. Bruce had sky vodka in his room.
Jen: No he didn't. That was water from a poland spring bottle. You just drank it from a little glass.
Drunk Hillel Chick starts to cry.
DHC: You're just jealous because I had sex with the hottest guy on our floor.
Amy: Yet again, you never cease to amaze me drunk hillel chick. That wasn't a guy. That was a blow up doll that Jen's friend sent her as a gag.
Drunk Hillel Chick takes a knife and stabs herself in the heart.
Amy: Sorry. Fake knife from my halloween costume.
Jen: We've gotta go. Gilmore Girls is on. Toodles.
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