Ethan: The Final Four is set, and let me be the first to congratulate you on your bold prediction that Ohio State wouldn't make it. That was so incorrect. Are you now a believer in Oden's mastery? Do you now spit your gum on the court, then pick it up and put it back in your mouth in an effort to emulate Thad Matta? Or do you weep at home while clutching a Memphis pennant?
Amir: I actually thought Memphis was the only team that didn't have a shot at Ohio State. I thought Xavier had an upset in them, and I was pretty sure Tennessee would run Oden into the ground. Oddly enough I was right about both! And they still won. I guess I'll formally apologize, Ohio State is not one dimensional. But they're still the worst one seed!
Ethan: You'll never give up will you? I picked Georgetown to win it all, so I'm sticking with them. I think Dr. Hibbert can take care of Oden, and Jeff Green may be fearless enough to take it into the paint on him.
Amir: Jeff Green is the most talented athlete in the tournament (named after a Jewish substitute teacher).
Ethan: It's great to watch Oden on defense, though; the other teams act like the lane is made of lava. Of course, some part of me wishes Oden and Conley could have made Roy Williams cry, but you take tears where you can get them, especially since Dick Vermeil's retired. I'm taking Georgetown in the final. What about the other side?
Amir: These are the same teams as last year, so I have no reason to believe the game won't be exactly the same. My prediction is 73-57 Florida. Then after the game my prediction is a Florida celebration equipped with hats and new t-shirts! And a new Joakim Noah dance, no doubt.
Ethan: Florida's looked pretty dominant at times so far, but at the same time, a loss would get Billy Donovan to Kentucky a few days earlier. I'm torn, but I'll use my normal tiebreaker: team with the most superfluous names. Luc Richard Mbah a Moute you're my winner! UCLA takes it. Who's winning it all? I want for you to be wrong in such a public forum for a third week in a row.
Amir: To me, Georgetown / North Carolina was the championship game. Those were the best two teams in the tournament. I'll be rooting against Georgetown because you have them winning it all in our office pool, but they have to be the favorite. I can't wait for Patrick Ewing Jr. to take after his father, and transfer to the Toronto Raptors for a season before retiring.
Ethan: In other basketball news, how insane was Rasheed's buzzer beater on Monday night? Best shot you've ever seen?
Amir: It was insane, but not the best. Jerry West did the same thing in the 1970 finals I believe, only it was from about 75 feet.
Ethan: All right Hubie Brown, lets keep it modern here.
Amir: It forced overtime only because there were no three pointers back then. In fact, everybody wore leather helmets! I think its safe to say that the new NBA logo will not be featuring Rasheed Wallace. Though wouldn't that be an awesome logo?
Ethan: The pubic-hair beard, a little silhouette of a ref giving him a technical I could get behind that. Anyone else excited for baseball? Or is it just me, Bud Selig, and Gil Meche's accountant?
Amir: The only people excited about baseball right now are fantasy baseball nerds. Sports geeks so lame that they'd happily be willing to spend the next 8 months couped away in solitary confinement with a laptop and wireless internet with a connection just strong enough to change their starting pitchers before every game. Just completely worthless humans. So, who are your late round sleeper picks?
Ethan: I'm totally not one of those people, and I never, ever prioritize checking box scores over having sex. I don't know why you're even asking me that. That being said: Zack Greinke might be sane again, and he can certainly be a solid fifth pitcher or so. Morgan Ensberg isn't hurt this year, and he can really mash despite looking somewhat like Huckleberry Hound. Adam Wainwright has been untouchable this spring, and that nasty curve could make him a bargain starter. Your picks?
Amir: I'm picking basketball until about June and my sleeper pick is Arena Football. LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE!
Ethan: If these walls could talk, they'd wish they were the walls in an NFL stadium.
Amir: If these walls could talk they'd wonder how great Michael Vick would look in an Orlando Predators jersey
Ethan: Is Marcus Vick a reasonable substitute? Because I doubt he's all that busy.
Amir: I don't know why Arena Football teams don't accept more NFL rejects. You have any idea how many Arena games I'd see if Eric Crouch was passing to, I dunno, Freddy Mitchell?
Ethan: I'd subscribe to AFL Center Ice for that! Now, where's our interesting fact?
Amir: I'll keep it on baseball to keep you happy: last year Joel Zumaya threw the most 100 mph pitches in the majors with 233. The next-closest was Kyle Farnsworth with a whopping 26.
Ethan: To put Zumaya's number in perspective, that's one 100 mph pitch for every cigarette Jim Leyland smokes during the seventh inning stretch each game.
Amir: Kenny Rogers slathers them with pine tar to give them more of an "outdoorsy" flavor. Perfection.
Ethan: Until next week, get excited for the women's Final Four in Cleveland? Jesus, and the NCAA expects us to care when they obviously don't? Was Akron booked solid?
Amir: I like Tennessee in a four game sweep!