Secular Jew: Hey man, how's Passover going for ya?
Super Jew: Oh, pretty good. I'm going to another seder tonight. Hey…what are you doing with that?
Secular Jew: What do you mean? I'm making my lunch.
Super Jew: Yeah, but that's…that's pork.
Secular Jew: On matzoh.
Super Jew: Dude…I thought you were keeping kosher for Passover.
Secular Jew: I am. I'm not having bread.
Super Jew: Pork is not kosher. Having it with matzoh totally defeats the purpose of everything our ancestors fought against the Pharaoh for all those years ago.
Secular Jew: No it doesn't. I never keep regular kosher. Why should I all of a sudden have to abide by two sets of dietary rules. Not being able to eat pizza is bad enough man. At least let me have my pork!
Super Jew: That's just not what the Torah wanted, but whatever man.
Secular Jew: We all do what's good for us individually. By the way, can you still come to my sister's Bat Mitzvah next weekend?
Super Jew: Oh shoot! I totally forgot…but Christina's family is having me over for Easter next weekend. Sorry, brah.