Surprising poll results – 100% of Americans say they've recently been recently surveyed.
Bad Ideas for TV Spin-Offs
- According to Jim, Jews Can't Be Trusted
- Kids Say The Darndest Things When They're Being Tortured
- Joey
The Ultimate Paradox
I think beating a video game is equal parts success and failure.
Cereal Dreams
I wish real life came in a cinnamon flavor…
I wish Chex stayed crunchy, even in my stomach.. .
I wish a serial killer hadn't murdered my dad…. Gotta have my Pops…
Dr. Bully
"It appears that you have a severe case of faggotosis. I'm going to prescribe one dose of vicious wedgie, to be administered immediately."
I Can Take Your Clothes Out Of the Dryer and Put My Stuff In If…
- It’s not lady-stuff.
- The dryer has been off since I got there.
- It's your Nazi SS uniform and it's clearly already dry.
Guy Who is Confused By Fortune Cookies
"3, 28, 19, 43, 67, 12…. IN BED!!!"
-Jessie Sachs
Crow Moments
Crow 1: I've got a bone to pick with you.
Crow 2: That sounds really nice. It's a date.
Why do we drive on the parkway and park in the driveway, but no one eats at Subway?
A Conversation between Jesus and Joseph
"Clean your room."
"You're not my dad."
-Jimbo Hesky
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