Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
New "Morning After" Articles
April 2, 2007
Have you ever wanted to write a regularly featured article for CollegeHumor? Well here are some of the new “Morning After” articles that are waiting to be written by any of you brave readers
The Morning After: $1 Tequila Shots
It's pretty simple: find somewhere that has $1 shots of tequila and drink heavily. Then, early in the morning, you write about your experience. It doesn't matter if you can't type coherently. Simply aim your vomit in the direction of your keyboard and whatever letters you press will suffice for an article.
The Morning After: Going Hoggin'
Why hook up with desirable chicks when you can give a little self esteem to the larger ones of society? Your mission is to find the fattest land whale you can, seduce her, and do your best not to suffocate on her fat rolls while nailing her. Sure this may sound gross, but at least you'll get your D wet, right?
The Morning After: Beating Off Vigorously
This one takes a lot of dedication, only meant for those who choose to stay in every night that other people go out. You may say that you have a huge paper due in the near future, but everyone knows your night consists of watching SportsCenter in between each whack sess.
The Morning After: The Morning After
It may sound like this one is straight out of the Department for Redundancy Department, but in actuality your job will be to read all of the “Morning After” columns and summarize what you thought of the summaries. Did Chris Craft misquote Jack Bauer when he went storming into yet another embassy? Here's your chance to tell him!
The Morning After: According to Jim
This one has been a long time coming. We realize that heated discussions amongst your friends about the merits of According to Jim (and Jim Belushi in general) have probably gotten a bit stale by now. What we need is a public forum for everyone to tout the talents of this monumental, groundbreaking show.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.