They put shrink wrap on porn magazines for many reasons. One of the reasons is so that people don’t take a free peek. Another reason is so people don’t tear out a page without buying the magazine. And, yet another reason is so people don’t jerk off in the back of the 7-11 and leave the magazine stand covered in semen.

Yeh, that’s probably the main reason.

But, another reason is because that plastic cover gives a sense of mystery. A sense of unknown excitement. It’s about anticipation.

And, sometimes, that anticipation is better because the real “prize” isn’t as great as you hoped it would be.

I’m talking about the girl fight, people. That teaser last week of 2 chicks fighting in the rain made even a heterosexual girl giggle with glee. But, the payoff was not at all what it could have been. We could have definitely used more hair pulling, bitch slapping, and wet cleavage. But, alas, we still got a decent episode.

Here’s what went down this week, in a boar meat morsel:

Locke comes to the room where Kate is being held and gives her an esoteric good-bye. The Dharma people pack up quickly, leave the village (to go where?), and gas Kate, who wakes up in the jungle hand-cuffed to Juliet. They have a chick fight, run from the monster, and it’s revealed that Juliet handcuffed herself to Kate so she wouldn’t be left behind again. They get Jack and Sayid and head back to the beach. A flashback tells us that Sawyer’s main-squeeze con victim, Cassidy, once befriended Kate. Our comedic side story involves Hurley conning Sawyer into being nice to people.

Here’s what we learn:

1. The Others have a flair for the dramatic. They probably didn’t really need to gas Kate, Jack, Juliet, or anyone, before leaving. But it made for 10 more minutes of television.

2. The old saying, “You can’t con a con man” is decidedly FALSE. Sawyer conned?! Into being NICE!? Take THAT, James! Also, Sawyer may have a kid! Cassidy said she was preggers.

3. The monster is back. Remember back when we saw a slow motion view of the black smoke with Mr. Eko? C’mon, I know you all hit the tivo rewind button to see the images of faces in the smoke. Well, this time, the monster flashed a bright light on Juliet and Kate, almost as if it were taking a picture. Thoughts?

4. Dude, Juliet is a sketchy bitch. We’ve gotten to trust her because she seems to be a bit of an outcast from the Others. And, because she and Ben seem to have a rocky history, and because they lied to her, branded her, and won’t send her home. But, can she really be trusted? How do we know she was really gassed, too? How do we know she’s not just being a spy? I’m with Sayid on this one: she should not be coming back with them. And, btw, when Sayid said that, why didn’t Kate speak up about the fact that Juliet LIED and handcuffed them together?? C’mon, Kate!

5. Sun is still pissed at Sawyer. boo-hoo.

6. The smoke is not an agent of the Others. Which means one of two things: Either it is an agent of the “island,” which is a mystical or scientific phenomenon that is separate from the work of the Others. OR, it means that it is perhaps an agent of the original Dharma initiative people. And, that our “Others” are a newer group (the “hostiles?”). This history of the Others is still sketchy. What do you guys think?

7. Anyone else reminded of the Lost Colony of Roanoke when the Others up and left for no reason? (I really just wanted to show you all how smart I am with my knowledge of American history.) I think a good plotline would be if our beach dwellers all moved into the now empty Dharma village, and then they became crazy like the Others.