There are two kinds of tv shows that people watch…those that you’re happy when they’re back and you catch them if you have time, and those that you and your friends gather to watch like it was the world’s first fire. And let’s face it, TV isn’t exactly in its golden age (Two and a Half Men, case closed) so when two shows as good as Sopranos and Entourage come back at once, it’s enough to turn Easter into a cool holiday. I can just imagine families everywhere last night capping off a day of church and egg finds with an hour and a half of gang slayings and backstabbing. Now that’s a holiday. So world, let’s rejoice, for just as Christ did, Entourage has returned.
Season 3 part deux starts off with Turtle taking pictures of Drama in front of his new Sunset strip billboard to try and remind the audience that Drama has a B plot this season of his own NBC show. They probably wouldn’t have bothered reminding us about it at all, but it sets up 3 or 4 really good “Johnny’s career sucks compared to Vince’s” jokes. I don’t care how famous one of my friends was, if I booked an NBC series and my friends cared as little as E and Turtle do, I think I might stop cooking them omelets every morning. The guys spend twenty grand on a party every time Vince cuts his toenails, they could’ve at least taken Drama to Chuck E. Cheese or something for booking a primetime series. It’s not like he’s the replacement host of Talk Soup or something. But let’s face it, if E and Turtle don’t care that he’s on NBC, then neither do I. So they do a nice job by keeping the scene short and ended with the inagural hottie extras of the season. At first I was extremely pleased by the casting, but upon Tivo review, you only see one side of each of the girls’ face. This reminds me to pass on a little piece of advice I once read on a fortune cookie only move to LA to become an actress if in fact both sides of your face should be on camera. One sided extra work is hard to come by and doesn’t pay well. It was a very strange fortune.
But the producers quickly redeemed their asymmetrical casting choices by showing us Vince’s choice for his new agent, a gorgeous brunette named Amanda. Vince and E have stopped in for a meeting to remind everyone that E is a much faster reader then Vince. They tell her all the scripts they got yesterday sucked and she immediately pulls out the perfect script that she either retardedly didn’t give to them yesterday or was placed on her desk overnight with good timing from the academy award fairies. We also learn that it’s Vince’s birthday which means Laker game then ginormous party. At the game, Ari spots Vince with Amanda sending Ari into a jealous pouty man-crush tirade.
Back at the Entourage mansion the next morning, Drama still cooks breakfast just so he has a skill to fall back on when his show gets cancelled, Vince actually reads the script and likes it, and Ari calls to invite Vince to a birthday dinner which Drama wisely advises them to turn into a coffee. So after a mid morning game of indoor mansion golf simulation, E and Vince go to meet Ari while Turtle and Drama rent the Exxon Valdeez to throw the Vince’s birthday slash world’s largest booze cruise slash oil spill. I have to give it up to Turtle, he does find cool ways to blow Vince’s money.
Then comes a groundbreaking moment in Entourage history…In a rawer moment, showing the ugly impoverished underbelly of being best friends with a celebrity, E, Drama, and Turtle have to come to grips with only being able to afford to spend sixty thousand dollars on Vince’s birthday party. It’s one of those scenes that, you know, really gets you thinking, and it’s just not right.There ought to be a charity for things like this. The cast could be spokespeople. “For just the cost of all the food and gas and clothing you buy in a few years, Cameron Diaz could have the kind of Fourth of July bbq that she deserve. Don’t wait, operators are standing by.”
But before I could cry, Vince was already unwrapping his birthday present from Ari.So what do you get for the client/millionaire movie star who has everything?Ari’s choice is a xeroxed copy of theMedellin script that Vince really wanted but didn’t get, all wrapped up in a crappy leather notebook! Within seconds, E is on his cell phone asking Ari why his present sucked so bad. Ari tells E that is available again and that Amanda won’t know about it because she sucks at agenting.
Meanwhile, Turtle realizes that Vince’s party is costing too much money and decides to get the party sponsored by calling his unusually deep rolodex of instantaneous corporate buyers which includes Sky vodka, Pillsbury, and Minute rice. All Vince has to do is dress get drunk on Sky vodka while dressed as the dough boy and the party is free! So the boys roll up to the party in a limo with Valvoleen decals and get out to see the Starbuck’s Pepsi Popeye’s Chicken Supercruiser that he rented. Looked pretty cool. On a 1 to 10 jealousy scale, I got up to an 8.5, and it gave HBO the easiest way in the history of tv to get 9 simultaneous product placements. Next week Vince becomes the new Subway pitch man and uses Head-On for the first time.
The episode climaxes at Vince’s birthday when Ari and Amanda have a cat fight over Vince in front of him and E yells a few things at Ari while standing safely behind Amanda. Vince and Ari go off to talk where Ari tries to win him back with the suaveness of Ike Turner on Wild Turkey and Vince tells him that for ratings and plot purposes, he won’t be going back to him until the very end of the season. (I might be paraphrasing slightly.) Ari is sad but acknowledges that its probably for the best, while lamenting at mostly having to do scenes with Loyd for a few weeks.
As a boring candle blowing scene winds the episode down, Amanda announces that at presumably midnight or later she got a call from the 24 hour movie casting super store to let her know that Vince has been cast in the Sam Mendez movie without an audition or meeting the director! Wow, Hollywooding is easy! But before Vince goes off to have a threesome with Victoria Secret models he tells Amanda to hold off taking the deal for big movie money, just in case medellin really is available. Amanda looks pissed, E is as confused as ever, and another kick ass season of Entourage is upon us.
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