Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
The Thought Process Behind Ingesting an Entire Bottle of Ibuprofen
April 9, 2007
Oh man, I have such a headache. Should
have had those shots of Jager last night. Just a few of these should do it. Why is there all this f*cking cotton here?! Get out of here! Isn't there some horribly racist joke about this stuff? No time for that now, gotta get rid of this hangover.
Ahh, ok, here we go, feelin' good now. What's the recommended dosage again? Two tablets every four to six hours? F*ck that, I got some
pain here. "If you consume 3 or more alcoholic drinks every day blah blah blah stomach bleeding " that would suck pretty bad. Oh well, better not take
many of these.
F*ck this stuff, it's not doing anything. Better take some more. Maybe if I wash it down with some Natty it'll help, I heard somewhere that it makes the blood vessels more responsive or some sh*t like that. This doesn't taste half bad, it's got like some candy coating on it or something. Ok, here we go, down the hatch!
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa maaaaaaaaan, I am thinking like that I'm feeling me. It's like I'm here, but not. It's like, I'm
myself, like, here, but wow, my headache, like if it was a sentence there's a period at the end of it now. Or like an exclamation mark. Mark Mark I'll call my buddy Mark, see if he wants to hit up some of this stuff f*ck, I think I feel my stomach leaking or something. Ughhh, better pop some of these bad boys in there to quench the fire. Fire fire what if I like, smoked this stuff that'd be good sh*t yea
Barely audible sounds of body convulsing and mouth foaming.
This is modeled off of the very talented Sarah Schneider's
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