The Drunken Blog

In this world of crazy relationships I have discovered a litmus test to see who would be suitable to date, and who you should probably steer clear of. Now, just like a real litmus test, this is not an exact science (that’s a lie, this is an exact science). It’s easy to do, although a lot of it depends on the circumstances.

As I’ve mentioned before, girls cheat to get out of relationships. So all you have to do is find a girl that you like who happens to be in a relationship. Court her like she doesn’t have a boyfriend; if she ends up cheating on her boyfriend, or dumping her boyfriend for you, then you don’t want her. I know this sounds a bit harsh, but if somebody cheats on their significant other for you, they are going to do the exact same thing to you down the line.

If she does cuckold her boyfriend for you, let her know right then that you don’t want any sort of actual relationship. Actually, on second thought, don’t tell her right away, because she is going to be pretty pissed off at you because you obviously made her cheat on her boyfriend and she might cut you off right there. However, there is another possible outcome of you telling her that you don’t want a relationship. She thinks that she likes you so much that she will rationalize the fact that you don’t want a relationship, and she will tell herself that she also doesn’t want a relationship right now (even though she does, that’s why she dumped her boyfriend, so that she could have a relationship with you).

If this second option arises, have fun with it while you can, but keep in mind that you are taking advantage of an emotionally unstable person, and you will only be making things worse for them. Even though they say that they are OK without a relationship, they really aren’t and they will quickly become attached to you and will probably assume a common law relationship after a while. A common law relationship, for the uninformed (which is probably most of you, because I just made up the phrase) is very similar to a common law marriage, except a step down. It’s when two people have been hooking up for a while, and do other things together as well, but don’t actually call it a relationship. After a certain period of time, although not all parties involved may not recognize it as a relationship, at least one will, as will her friends, it will be considered a common law relationship
The second option is a bit more reasonable for the situation, and that would be that she gets pissed off at you and tells you to get lost. Ironically the second option shows that the girl has more of a head on her shoulders than the first option making her a more viable option for dating. It’s unfortunate that the only way to test for this is to burn the bridge.

This litmus test can also be used by girls on guys, although it’s much less reliable. The biggest difference here is the fact that the girl wants to steal the guy away explicitly to have a relationship with him. This is the central fallacy of the plan. If you are able to steal a guy away from his current girlfriend, some other girl will steal him away from you down the line. I don’t think girls realize that guys don’t actually change, no matter how hard the girl tries.

So now we know that if you are able to make somebody cheat with you that you shouldn’t be dating them because they’ll do the same thing to you. But what if they don’t cheat?

There are two possibilities in this situation. The first is that you have no game, and you wouldn’t be able to pick up a girl if you were giving out tickets to see Aaron Carter. If this is the case, the litmus test really doesn’t tell you anything at all, other than the fact that you don’t really have a chance. Hopefully this is not the case for you, though. The second possibility is that she actually likes you, but in a not-yet-in-that-kind-of-way way because she isn’t looking for another boyfriend. This is the type of girl that you want to date. Unfortunately you’ll just have to wait. If it’s any consolation, most relationships don’t end in marriage. You really can’t interfere with their relationship because you don’t want her to think that you’re a douche, but you should remain close by so that she remembers who you are. The more face time you put in during her relationship, the more she’ll remember you after the relationship. The same thing goes for girls that like a guy that are in a relationship.

This is a really bad test because you lose at every single outcome. You’re best bet would be to go after somebody that’s not in a relationship, or, if that’s too much for you, somebody on the rebound.