So tonight's episode got me thinking How do you think the joint custody works between Sloan and Vince for E's balls? Do you think they each keep one of his balls or does Sloan get weekend visitation? Vince and E's entire plot last night revolved around Eric not being able to speak 1 simple adult sentence to his best friend. All he'd have to say is, "Hey Vince, my incredibly hot girlfriend wants to go away solo this weekend so she can eat fruit salad off my johnson." Done. Problem solved. The rest of the episode could have been about Sloan in a hotel room in lingerie and the rest of the boys on Spring Break. Now that's an episode I want to see. Instead, Eric decides to construct a fool proof plan of lying to everyone around him and then inviting them all to dinner to discuss his lie. Was it a white lie? Yeah. Hell it was the Bryant Gumbel of lies, but a lie nonetheless. And it made for a very boring Vince/Eric storyline.
So with Vince busy avoiding Amanda's calls about the Sam Mendez movie and trying to make weekend plans, Turtle and Drama decide to rely on their next best game crutch, their dog Arnold. The end up at a dog park that looked like what I picture heaven looking like a grassy field with dozens of hot women walking dogs. I tivo'd it not 1 guy extra in the entire scene. Brilliant! I half expected the CoorsLight train to shoot through the park showering everybody with snow. But no such luck for Turtle and Drama as their day goes from beer commercial to bad hospital show whenArnold decides to eat the girls' dog.
And lets give credit where it's due Aftersome of us doubting Drama's game last week, he comes through with someBS line that gets the third hottest girl from Dawson's Creek and her mute friend back to the pad. As a side note on this Does anyone elsethink the cast of Dawson's Creek will end up all flipping out like the cast of Diff'rent Strokes withKatie Holmes being institutionalized and James Van Der Beek robbing liquor stores? He'd be arrested within minutes after the liquor store owner described the robber as having the world's largest forehead.
But I digress Ari was awesome last night. He had 3 or 4 great lines that made the episode. He was a veritable human highlight reel of classic Loyd bashes including "This is the big one, so go grab your best dress and just know that today your love of cock is a huge asset to this company." Translation in an attempt to sign Jay Lester, a gay TV writer with yellow fever played by Will Sasso, Ari has decided to pimp Lloyd out. Lester finally agrees to sign, but only ifLloyd delivers the papers to the gayest place in the known universe. (As a note to anyone running the show, you do not need the same slow-mo shots of people dancing on tables if the episode is at a gay club.) But at the last minute Ari gets a change of heart and races to the man hole to tell Lester to go to hell and rescue Lloyd from life long regret and hemroids.
Turtle and Drama do finally get out of the vet office purgatory and are about to seal the deal with the girls when one of them gets all dog whisperer on Turtle. He tries to deal with her giving dog training advice every five seconds during the hookup, but eventually loses his shit and tells her off. Glad he did. As much as I wanted to see Busy Phillips in underwear so I could stop staring at her gum line, it wasn't worth it if I had to hear one more line about dog care.
With E having booted Vince from his lame Napawine tasting weekend, Vince decides to make E's weekend look like atrip to Wal-martby one upping him and renting a private jet to take him, Drama, and Turtle to Cabo San Lucas for spring break. I wish they had done a close up of the look on E's face when they decided to go. I think his head might have just exploded. It serves him right for being such a douche all episode.
-Some Random Thoughts-
Is Lloyd really that much of a prize? Will Sasso's character offers him a car to sleep with him. It better not have been anything more than a Kia.
Which of the guys do you think has the most STDs? You know Vince gets the most girls, but Turtle and Drama have skank factor going for them. E just has vaginitis.
Is Emmanuelle Chiriqui (Sloan) the hottest girl currently on TV? I can't think of any better.