Here is a list of promises I am making because I am your friend.

1. When you are sad – I will interrupt your story with one of my own, because my life is shitty as well, and we all need to rant.

2. When you are blue – I will tell you to tone down the eye makeup because you look like a hooker.

3. When you smile – I will tell you if you have anything in your teeth.

4. When you are scared – I will already be halfway down the street running away from the guy with the knife.

5. When you are worried – I won't sleep either because you toss and turn a lot and it's really f*cking annoying.

6. When you are confused – I will take responsibility for sending such cryptic text messages.

7. When you are sick – I swear I didn't know that I had pubic lice.

8. When you fall – I'll carry you back to the car… Can I have like 10 bucks for gas?

This is my oath ..I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask "because I am a jerk that likes to poke fun at things like this on MySpace"