For the past four or five years we've been getting an email every April from the guys behind National High Five Day. We always have, and always will, support their efforts to establish a day when we celebrate the sublime pleasure that is a well-executed high five. Happy National High Five Day, everyone!
-The CH Staff
God damn, you have no idea how much we miss college. If college were a drug, then we'd be equally addicted to it and that type of Asian porno where all the girls look like they're 14. You really, really need to enjoy it. You need something to look back on fondly when your alarm is going off or you are getting coffee for some schmuck who gave you a job because he was in the same frat as you 30 years ago. Yeah, the outside world is cold, probing. But anyway,
HAPPY NATIONAL HIGH FIVE DAY, YOU LUCKY SONS OF BITCHES!!!!!
We usually like to use this column to update people about the progress we've made over the course of the past year for National High Five Day. Giving high fives on NHFD is great. It's great in a way that's pure, and clean, and fun, and also somehow ironic, sardonic, sort of mocking, and please don’t mention any of the second half of that to the 3rd grade classes who email us pictures of themselves high fiving. Or the Australian guy who emailed us a picture of his dong, for that matter. But the fact is we haven't really made any progress this year. That's just the reality, people. We pretty much maxed out by getting mentioned by that hot minx Katie Couric last year on the Today show, then took the rest of the year off. Yeah you, sexy legs. Couric.
Anyway, in order to get one thing done this year, we've decided to come up with a first ever official slogan for this year's extravaganza. We've come up with a few ideas of our own, and here are some of the candidates, but any ideas or votes would be appreciated. Here are the nominees.
NHFD 2k7: Maybe We Can Finally Make Some Money Off This Thing
NHFD 2k7: No More Talking Like Pirates
NHFD VI: Jason Lives
NHFD 2k7: Seriously, No More Talking Like Pirates
NHFD 2k7: So what the hell is happening on Lost?
NHFD 2k7: Screw the President
NHFD 2k7: The Sexy Was Doing Just Fine Where I Left It, Thank You
NHFD 2k7: Who do you think you are, John Mark Carr?
NHFD 2k7: All y'all seen the leprechaun, say yeah
NHFD 2k7: Bob Lockwood, you know who you are, and you know what you did.
NHFD 2k7: RIP Dave Coulier
NHFD 2k7: Bacon is a sauce
NHFD 2K7: HAPPY NATIONAL HIGH FIVE DAY, YOU LUCKY COLLEGIATE BASTARD SONS OF BITCHES!!!!!!!!!