Rearrange these letters to spell the name of a celebrity

moT Cruise
(answer after the jokes)
Two Web Browsers Making Small Talk
"// 10013?from=36hr_fcst_undeclared."
"// profile?statsId=5275"
I've had trouble having sex these days because I'm so out of shape. Once the girl fights me off and starts running away I hardly ever catch her.
Pickiest Child Ever
- "I can't stand it when they focus on the yellow Teletubby. Go back to Tinky Winky!"
- "If I can't be the orange hippo, I'm just going to not play."
- "Boogers from my right nostril taste yucky."
Overheard at Columbus's High School Reunion
"I haven't seen Columbus since graduation."
"Yeah, he really fell off the face of the Earth."
-Conor McKeon
White Whine
"All the lettuce in my salad is limp!"
Talking Dirty in the Twilight of Your Life
Age 58: "Let's play Doctor. Mmm, you have prostate cancer."
Age 65: "Let’s see how many hard candies you can fit in there."
Age 74
: "I’m going to do you so hard, you’ll remember our daughter’s name."
Age 86
: "I want your IV inside me."
Would you rather have to wear a new t-shirt every day for the rest of your life, or choose one t-shirt and wear that one for the rest of your life, shit nevermind, wrong column.

Answer: Swiss playwright CromT Suie

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