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Candidate#1: Trey "T-Don" Donovan



Dubbed "The Frat Boy" by voters



Pros*: AWESOME PICS!!!11, lists both Family Guy AND South Park under TV and can hook you up with any chick on campus



Cons: Owes a bunch of people money, has an extreme case of narcissism





sup dude, it's me, the t mannnn! dude you need to vote for me president. i'll be like the best one ever basically cause i'm the shit. here's the stuff i'll do cause i'm the shit:



- ban fat chicks



- make all the emos go away



- pick a differentfacebook chick to pose in playboy every month



also i'll get rid of ALL THE F'IN high schoolers! wtf is that man, THIS IS OUR DOMAIN!!11 shit ya!



peeeace



da t man





Candidate#2- Sunshine Goodwin



Dubbed "The Dirty Hippie" by voters



Pros: Optimism, cute puppy in her picture



Cons: May not be able to relate to the average Facebooker, as she does not have any pictures of her with beer



Dearest Facebookers, it makes me SO HAPPY to be nominated for Facebook President! If nominated, I will:






  • Add Top Friends

  • Make fake mentions illegal

  • Make gifts free!

  • Add little hearts and bunnies to the wallpaper!




You are all SO BEAUTIFUL! I LOVE YOU ALL! Also, I will ban any facebook bullies because I want US ALL to get along!



OMG I LOVE THE WORLD!



XOXO, Sunshine





Candidate #3: Drake Kesington



Dubbed "The Pussy" by male voters and "The Nicest Guy Ever omg



Pros: ValeDICKtorian ahahahha, won a medal in swimming, can eat an entire meatloaf, has tons of dough, can score us free pizzas from his dad's chain



Cons: Can't hold his alchohohol (sp?), was engaged to Brittnee and cried when she cheated on him, doesn't know any sweet Frat Pack quotes



Facebookers-



It is an honor and a priveledge to be considered for the role of Facebook President. If elected, this is a roleI will take seriously. Although our Facebook community is incredible as is, I will do my best to eliminate any flaws in the system. My actions as President, should I be elected, include but are not limited to:






  • Eliminating the 200 group maximum

  • Creating an age minimum so that vulnerable children can not be corrupted

  • Created an age maximum to avoid pedophiles and creeps and to provide a safe environment for the lovely young women Facebook provides

  • Require a consent form for those who have been poked, so as to avoid unwanted sexual harassment claims

  • I will also make myself readily available for concerned Facebookers




Thank you for your time, and, hopefully, your vote



Drake





Candidate #4: Chad "the Chadster" Francis



Dubbed "The Drunk"and "The Chick Magnet" by voters.



Pros: Drinks mad 40s, gets lots of muff



Cons: Doesn't share his Chaser or his chicks





yO waSsUp it'S cHazzZz! dUdE vOtE 4 mE aNd i'LL dO aLL tHis sHiT-



tEaCh aLL thE gUyS 2 aCt liKe dRuNK jErKs sO tHey cAn gEt mAdDd cHix



aDD jAcK dAnIELs 2 uR fRiEnDz sO u CaN taG bEEr, sOn!



mAkE bOraT oUr spOnSoR, dUdE!



hOOk uP w/ aLL dA cHiX aNd tHeN aDD hOw tHeY aRe iN bEd 2 tHeIr nAmEs sO u KnO



waDDup!







* Pros and Cons all provided by candidate's facebook friends.




MORE CANDIDATES COMING SOON!