Candidate#1: Trey "T-Don" Donovan

Dubbed "The Frat Boy" by voters

Pros*: AWESOME PICS!!!11, lists both Family Guy AND South Park under TV and can hook you up with any chick on campus

Cons: Owes a bunch of people money, has an extreme case of narcissism

sup dude, it's me, the t mannnn! dude you need to vote for me president. i'll be like the best one ever basically cause i'm the shit. here's the stuff i'll do cause i'm the shit:

- ban fat chicks

- make all the emos go away

- pick a differentfacebook chick to pose in playboy every month

also i'll get rid of ALL THE F'IN high schoolers! wtf is that man, THIS IS OUR DOMAIN!!11 shit ya!


da t man

Candidate#2- Sunshine Goodwin

Dubbed "The Dirty Hippie" by voters

Pros: Optimism, cute puppy in her picture

Cons: May not be able to relate to the average Facebooker, as she does not have any pictures of her with beer

Dearest Facebookers, it makes me SO HAPPY to be nominated for Facebook President! If nominated, I will:

  • Add Top Friends

  • Make fake mentions illegal

  • Make gifts free!

  • Add little hearts and bunnies to the wallpaper!

You are all SO BEAUTIFUL! I LOVE YOU ALL! Also, I will ban any facebook bullies because I want US ALL to get along!


XOXO, Sunshine

Candidate #3: Drake Kesington

Dubbed "The Pussy" by male voters and "The Nicest Guy Ever omg

Pros: ValeDICKtorian ahahahha, won a medal in swimming, can eat an entire meatloaf, has tons of dough, can score us free pizzas from his dad's chain

Cons: Can't hold his alchohohol (sp?), was engaged to Brittnee and cried when she cheated on him, doesn't know any sweet Frat Pack quotes


It is an honor and a priveledge to be considered for the role of Facebook President. If elected, this is a roleI will take seriously. Although our Facebook community is incredible as is, I will do my best to eliminate any flaws in the system. My actions as President, should I be elected, include but are not limited to:

  • Eliminating the 200 group maximum

  • Creating an age minimum so that vulnerable children can not be corrupted

  • Created an age maximum to avoid pedophiles and creeps and to provide a safe environment for the lovely young women Facebook provides

  • Require a consent form for those who have been poked, so as to avoid unwanted sexual harassment claims

  • I will also make myself readily available for concerned Facebookers

Thank you for your time, and, hopefully, your vote


Candidate #4: Chad "the Chadster" Francis

Dubbed "The Drunk"and "The Chick Magnet" by voters.

Pros: Drinks mad 40s, gets lots of muff

Cons: Doesn't share his Chaser or his chicks

yO waSsUp it'S cHazzZz! dUdE vOtE 4 mE aNd i'LL dO aLL tHis sHiT-

tEaCh aLL thE gUyS 2 aCt liKe dRuNK jErKs sO tHey cAn gEt mAdDd cHix

aDD jAcK dAnIELs 2 uR fRiEnDz sO u CaN taG bEEr, sOn!

mAkE bOraT oUr spOnSoR, dUdE!

hOOk uP w/ aLL dA cHiX aNd tHeN aDD hOw tHeY aRe iN bEd 2 tHeIr nAmEs sO u KnO


* Pros and Cons all provided by candidate's facebook friends.