After World War II, the Soviets and the United States became the two world superpowers. The two countries split up Germany into East Germany and West Germany. They also split up the city of Berlin, and put a giant wall in between the two. Now, this wall was initially barbed wire, but when they built a concrete wall, it was filled with the bodies of captured Nazi soldiers. Oh, you don't believe me? Have you ever seen a graveyard for Nazis? No, of course not, they don't exist. Why didn't they find the bodies when they opened the wall back up? Because the Soviets were testing their flesh-eating acid bombs, and they mixed some of the acid in with the concrete. Don't dispute me.
Oh, I still see some skeptics. Well, let me give you this little tidbit: The Space Race should have been called the Moon War. Because that's what it was. Behind the backs of the public, the Soviets and Americans began collaborating. They were trying to set up an attack on the Moon Men. Yes, there are Moon Men! JFK wasn't shot by Oswald, or the CIA, or J. Edgar Hoover, or the Sovietshe was shot by Moon Men! They dropped from the sky in their little Moon Scooters and plugged him in the head, then flew away! Why do you think Kennedy wanted to get to the moon? Because the Moon Men were after his head, that's why! And so Armstrong and Aldrin boarded Apollo 11, armed with blowtorches and grenade launchers (Moon Men are very susceptible to burns) and set off to destroy the Moon Men. And destroy them they did! Then they came back to Earth and filmed the fake moon landing in the desert in Nevada somewhere, because you can't show the public images of two guys in space suits blasting away at Moon Men, they'd think you made it all up!
What, you don't believe me? Hey, listen up, smartass, it's called a li-brar-y! Put down the Nintendo Wii for a few hours and pay a visit there! Besides the Wii was created to turn you all into mindless, easily conquerable drones. But if you don't want to listen to me, fine!