Nothing is what it seems.

Well, duh. We all learned this in 1st grade, when we went to a birthday party and a magician who smelled like mold pulled a paper flower out of his ear. A few years later, we were reminded of this when Coca-Cola introduced those cans that looked like real soda but when you popped it open, a rolled-up $100 bill arose into your fingertips. And, years after even that, we learned this fact again when we woke up next to a fat, drunken mess who only hours before seemed like a hot piece of ass.

And now, as smart, well-read grown-ups, we are reminded of this fact on a weekly basis as we cuddle up with our favorite show every Wednesday night.

NOTHING is what it seems. The friendly Canadian Ethan turned out to be a murdering super hero. The grimy, raggy Others turned out to be scientists in theatrical costumes. The sure-fire love interest for Jack winds up banging the conman. Twice.

And now, someone who was as good as buried pops up alive and well?! One-Eyed Willy is alive?? WHO saw that coming

Here’s what went down this week, in a ventilated lung:

Jin, Hurley, Charlie and Desmond try to figure out what to do with the chick who fell from the sky, who is dying and multilingual. Eye Patch McGee shows up and saves her on the condition that they let him go. Juliet tells Sun about pregnant women on the island and takes her to a station for an ultrasound. A Sun flashback teaches us more about Jin’s family.

Here’s what we learn:
1. Some of us may have been so smitten with bald Korean dude, that we may have overlooked the fact that – given the island’s powers – Jin could have been the real father. We learn that, in fact, he is. Which means Sun got pregnant on the island and therefore has about 2 months to live.

2. If you lived on the beach, you’d be getting suspicious of Jack right about now. Trust me, you would. Because everyone else is doing it, and you are such a follower.
3. The reason Jin was given more dirty work by Sun’s father is because Sun had to get money to give to Jin’s mother (who was blackmailing Sun.). We also learn that Jin’s mother is a prostitute, and that Sun has met Jin’s mother and father, but never told Jin this.

4. Even more importantly, the fisherman might not be Jin’s real father. The dad said the mom had been with many men. I only bring this up because many people were speculating about a possible link between Sun, Jin, and the Asian guy in the Dharma instructional videos.

5. According to the Portuguese lady, the passengers of Flight 815 were all dead, and the plane was found. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA? I’m sure we’ve all negated those early nascent Lost theories of heaven, hell and purgatory at this point, right? So, is she lying, or was the real world told that everyone died in order to cover up the work of the Others?

6. All Asian people on tv shows know marital.arts. Jin was kicking serious butt with the Russian dude. Btw, does any speak Russian? Did the chick really say “thank you?” This could give us a clue as to her motives. So, speak up, Russian majors!