Adam Ruins Everything
Jake and Amir
CH Video Games Weekly
April 26, 2007
My guest this week is Kevin Cassidy, editor-in-chief of
What game do you regret playing?
: I not only beat
, I also took over 10 hours to raise a golden Chocobo. You need a gold chocobo to get the most powerful attack in the game, as if that excuses it. I don't think I'll ever fully understand what I was thinking. It's not only my biggest regret in video games, it's my biggest regret ever. And I've fathered two abortions.
: I think I'd have to go
Dance Dance Revolution
. I pop in a buck, dance three songs, and feel like I am having a heart attack. I have to be wheeled away after I'm done. That's enough exercise for me for a month.
: At least any time wasted on Dance Dance can be written off as exercise. I spent
breeding and racing enchanted ostriches.
: I have a friend who is over 90 hours in
, and he hasn't done a damn thing. You're supposed to be closing gates and saving the world. He's collecting pussy-willows to make potions. Why fight enemies when you can make flower arrangements?
Think about the other things I could have done with those 10 hours. I could have been beating a different video game!
: I regret the fact that I played
for Gameboy. My cousin's kid was stuck at a part, and I had to help her through. Five hours later I had finished the game, and felt more like Princess Jasmine than ever before. At the time I thought that was a good thing.
: Which video game character are you?
: If we're talking strictly from a physical standpoint, I am the spitting image of King Hippo from Punch-Out! People punch me in the stomach in public and expect my shorts to fall down.
: I've always thought I had a lot in common with the guy from Contra. No matter what life throws at him, he keeps moving to the right. Never go left, that's my philosophy. Though, I guess sometimes you have to go up.
: I don't know, I always thought Red and Blue were kind of special friends. Just the fact that one of the guns was called "Spread" had me suspicious.
: Oh then never mind, I totally love women! I'm changing my answer. Maybe I'm Duke Nukem.
: Isn't Duke Nukem up on sexual harassment charges? He's had a new game "in the works" for years now. I figured that's what was holding him up.
: That's how you know he's a real man.
: What's the best movie based on a game?
: I was embarassingly loyal to video game movies for a while. I actually saw Double Dragon
. I can't possibly keep up with them anymore though, there are just too many.
: Trust me, I'm with you on loyalty. I saw Alone in the Dark. I knew Tara Reid was in it from the start, and I still saw it. I don't think you can get anymore loyal than that.
: I still think the best video game movie I have ever seen is the Yoshi one that happened in my head this one time I did a bunch of
. After that, I don't know. Resident Evil? Best video game movie is the most lame duck award I can think of. Congratulations, you were better than Tomb Raider.
: Well keep in mind the first one had a quick glance of Angelina side boob. I think that movie counts as a lot of video game players first sexual experience.
: I guess the really fascinating thing here is that there is still not a single great video game movie. It seems like eventually it would just happen accidentally. Is Mortal Kombat still the best we can do?
: My nod has to go to Mortal Kombat 2. Sonya Blade mud wrestling that's worth my $10 right there.
We like you. Do you like us too?
Don't ask me again.