The key to drinking terrible beer is to drink it fast. Pizza can be eaten multiple times a day with virtually no immediate negative effects. At least one of your professors smokes pot. It's nobody's job to wash the dining room silverware. There is a Santa Claus, and you'll get to meet him right after graduation! If you have a professor who owns an iPod and a messenger bag, he's slept with a girl in your class. Before he was expelled, Tom Riddle built an enormous chamber underneath the chemistry department that only his true heir can open.
We like you. Do you like us too?