You've seen them in the clubs, usually far away from the dance floor, clinging to the bar. They eye everything that comes through the door: big, small, male female, doesn't matter to them. If that's not enough for you, you can also weed out the stalkers by listening for these famous pick-up lines.


  • Hey baby, did it hurt when you fell from the top bunk on August 28th at 7:35, in your room which I call Heaven?
  • Are you from Tennessee? Because your license plate says so. I had to follow you for four hours to get you to stop. Which house was yours?
  • Is that a keg in your pants? No? Can I put a tracking device in there?
  • Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone, but I will knock you unconscious when you leave and drag you home by your hair.
  • Do you have a boyfriend? That was a rhetorical question, I know you haven't since Johnny McDale dumped you three weeks ago this Thursday.
  • Hi, I'm foreign. I have Russian hands and Roman fingers. Wanna see them? They're from the last girls to turn me down.
  • You remind me of Pokemon. I wanna pikkachu. I also want to keep you in a giant plastic ball in my basement.
  • That shirt would look great on my floor. Right next to the pile of panties I stole out of your dryer. They smell like you.
  • I wanna show you my "Oh!" Face. I keep it hanging up in my trophy room, with all my other exes.
  • fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap squooge Imagine that inside you. I do, everyday. WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!?