Yes, I am too saddened that Paris is not going to jail, just think of how entertaining that Simple Life episode would have been...

(On the phone through the glass)

Nicole: Oh my god Paris, what is it like in prison with like, poor people.
Paris: It is horrible, let me tell you, the food is like, really bad, it tastes like, I don't know, I didn't eat it.  I figure if I skip one meal today I'll be able to slip through the bars, remember how you used to be?
Nicole: Yeah I remember, I looked so good.
Paris: Yeah, that was so hot.  I'm so glad you are here Nicole, I'm so tired from the job they are making me do, I have to fold the laundry, like I really know how to do that.
Nicole: Your right, you shouldn't have to do stuff like that, common your Paris Hilton, look at all that you have done for the world...
Paris: I know, I'm so hot right now.
Nicole: So like, when do you get out?
Paris: I don't know, they said people usually get out when they are no longer an annoyance to society and can be useful in life.
Nicole: Oh.
(Paris thinking (5 minutes later))
Paris: Damn it, that is so not hot.

Yes, I am too saddened that Paris is not going to jail, just think of how entertaining that Simple Life episode would have been...

(On the phone through the glass)

Nicole: Oh my god Paris, what is it like in prison with like, poor people.
Paris: It is horrible, let me tell you, the food is like, really bad, it tastes like, I don't know, I didn't eat it.  I figure if I skip one meal today I'll be able to slip through the bars, remember how you used to be?
Nicole: Yeah I remember, I looked so good.
Paris: Yeah, that was so hot.  I'm so glad you are here Nicole, I'm so tired from the job they are making me do, I have to fold the laundry, like I really know how to do that.
Nicole: Your right, you shouldn't have to do stuff like that, common your Paris Hilton, look at all that you have done for the world...
Paris: I know, I'm so hot right now.
Nicole: So like, when do you get out?
Paris: I don't know, they said people usually get out when they are no longer an annoyance to society and can be useful in life.
Nicole: Oh.
(Paris thinking (5 minutes later))
Paris: Damn it, that is so not hot.

  Its summer break from (your college name here) and let’s face it, there is nothing to do when you are back at home. You've done the few bars, seen all the movies, and seen the 10 friends you still stay in touch with. You say to yourself, I have a great idea, let’s go to the city pool with some friends and drink the day away!I commend your thinking, a nice relaxing day on the beach on a hot day, but are you too old for the city pool? Let me walk you through the signs so you can diagnose yourself. 

 ~You fill your sand bucket with MGD and Coronas

~You mix your drinks with Coke and Pepsi to get past the high school body guards checking bags

~You laughing that the high school kids checking bags are the weight of your beer belly

~Brag to your friends who has the oldest pool pass

~You realize the picture on your pool pass is the age of everyone else in the pool

~Anger ensues when you have to pay adult price to get in when they claim you stole the id from your little sibling

~On your way over to the pool, the sun hurts from your power hour last night

~You get mad from the noisy kids making your hangover worse

~Realizing you are looking at 13 year olds in bikinis, you turn your attention to their moms

~Staring at the entrance for older women only to see that it is more middle school kids

~You curse at the sky; wishing children had school year round

~You forgot your sunscreen but remembered your after class frisbee

~Leave your camera in the bag in fear of being called a pedophile

~You wish you worked out over the year so you can be made less fun of by the kids

~You leave the pool completely dry because you see all the kids peeing in the water

~You realize and complain you could have done this on your back porch for free without the preteens

~You leave only to end up at home drinking in the sun