Every week we post the absolute stupidest questions you heard in class. If you send in the stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. It's that simple.

5. Oklahoma State University, Oklahoma City, OK
Submitted by Mark V.

Professor had just finished talking about Abraham Lincoln's sons.
Stupid Girl: "So if Abraham Lincoln died, would his sons take over the throne?"

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4. Western Carolina University, Cullowhee, NC
Submitted by Ben B.

Professor: "One side effect of steroid use in women is an enlarged clitoris."
Big Breasted Blonde: "Does that mean it will feel better 'cause it's bigger?"

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3. Brandeis University, Waltham, MA
Submitted by Jonah K.

Genius: "Is there a paper crisis due to the Iraq war?"
[pause]
Professor:"No."

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2. Western Washington University, Bellingham, WA
Submitted by Nick M.

During a lecture about the African slave trade.
Professor: "The slaves were taken away from their families to go across the Atlantic to where they would be sold as slaves."
Brilliant Girl: "Why did the Africans want to be slaves?"
Professor: [silent]

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Winner - Richard Stockton College, Pomona, NJ
Submitted by CJ O.

Professor is discussing the Declaration of Independence and how it's being preserved.
Professor: "The Declaration of Independence is kept in an air tight helium filmed chamber."
Queen Retard: "So it's just floating around in there?"


Congrats on winning yourself a Big Shocker, CJ. And for any of you interested in winning one of your own, send me the stupidest question you've heard in class to CHStupidQuestions @Gmail.com and remember to include your school or I won't be able to use it.

The same sentence can mean a bunch of different things depending on how old the person talking is. It's true, just look below.

"Hold my beer for a second? I gotta run to the bathroom"
Freshman: I'm gonna puke.
Sophomore: I'm going to make myself puke.
Junior: I just saw this girl go in there and I want to talk to her on the way out.
Senior: I've got a lot of blow and I'm not sharing!
Alumni: Ooh, I think that fiber pill is kicking in.


"The girls at this party are all ugly."
Freshman: None of these girls will talk to me.
Sophomore: I'm not drunk enough yet.
Junior: The girls at this party are very unattractive.
Senior: I'm not as confident in my ability to attract women since I lost the ability to see my feet.
Alumni: Jeez, I hope my daughter isn't one of the 'ugly girls' in her grade, because judging by the girls who came to her birthday party, yikes...

Your parents - and maybe even a few of you - pay a staggering amount of money to attend college. Tuition with room and board can range anywhere from $10,000 a year on the low-low end to $50,000 plus if you plan on being the next big thing to come out of NYU. Therefore, you expect certain things from your school: an education, decent accomodations, working toilets and a roommate of your same race, naturally. But most of all you expect to be taken care of. And at a couple hundred bills a day, you should be taken care of very, very well.

For the most part, you are. But there will always be one person standing in the way of your happiness. One person who always manages to put a frown on your face and take a big fat dump on your parade. He's judgemental, rude, inconsiderate and, worst of all, unavoidable. It doesn't matter if your school costs $5,000 a year or $75,000 a year. It doesn't matter if your school is in Connecticut or New Mexico. It doesn't even matter if it's day or night. He's always there, always awful and always wrecking your otherwise perfect day. He may look like any other low wage school employee, but he's not. He's...

The Entitled Dining Hall Employee

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Apples to oranges, soup to nuts, grilled cheese to taco Tuesday, this douchebag watches over the food line like a hawk. Well, when he's not too busy making off-hand comments to the dishwashers behind him about how nice it must be to have mommy and daddy pay for all your meals, that is.