Articles Archive for Fordham
31 total in November 2006
Learn Something
by Streeter Seidell November 30, 2006
Once again, I'm here with my friends from Mental Floss teaching the important lessons you need to get through life. Today we're going to learn a little bit about...
Larry Flynt said it best: "You take a picture of a murder, which is illegal, and you can win Picture of the Year for TIME Magazine. You take a picture of two people having sex, which is not illegal, and you can get thrown in jail."
The 1st Century (BCE): The Kama Sutra hits shelves! In addition to all the sex tips and positions, Vatsayana also included a whole section on Enzyte alternatives. His easiest trick? Sleep face down on a cot with a hole in it, and then tie a dumbbell to your junk. The title of that chapter? "gUY$ m4ke herr m0an w1th b199er p3ni5!! CL1cK H33r3!"
1st Amendment: 1934. The Hays Code takes effect; any film showing more than an inch of thigh gets "condemned."¯ Consequently, your Grandfather is completely shocked the first time he sees your Grandma naked. "Well, I'll be darned," he says, "That sure don't look like what I got down there at all!"
Zango Ads A Few Days Behind
by Streeter Seidell November 30, 2006
This is like someone offering you a lunch meat turkey sandwich right after Thanksgiving dinner. Get with the program, Zango. We've seen about as much as there is to see of Ms. Spears.
Facebook Challenge!
by Streeter Seidell November 29, 2006
It's Back! No need for a long introduction, you know the rules: Start one of the groups below, get 1,000 people to join and email me at Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com when you've completed the task. If you're the first one to do so, you get yourself a Free BustedTee.
The Groups
That's it. Remember to make your group global so as many people can join as possible. When you've hit 1,000 members, email me at Streeter.Seidell@gmail.com and, if you're the first, you get a free BustedTee
While you're at it, join our Facebook Group
People You Hate
by Streeter Seidell November 29, 2006
Communication is important. Our entire civilization owes a great deal to those first two monkeys who decided to put the fistfuls of feces down and use their voices to communicate. Since that day we've developed increasingly sophisticated methods of relaying information to each other: there was writing, then telephones, then computers and cell phones. All of these innovations have been undeniably helpful in furthering our society, but one more recent invention could erase all of that evolution and send us right back to throwing poop at each other. What's worse is that this invention has been enthusiastically seized upon by one type of person in particular. His name is not important, he doesn't need one. He is simply...
Bluetooth Guy
With his trusty Bluetooth earpiece firmly embedded on his head, you can see this guy talking loudly to the air almost anywhere talking is permitted.
With his trusty Bluetooth earpiece firmly embedded on his head, you can see this guy talking loudly to the air almost anywhere talking is permitted.
Maybe Michael Richards Is A Historian?
by Streeter Seidell November 27, 2006
When I first heard Michael Richards proclaim that "fifty years ago you'd be hanging upside down with a fork in your ass" to two African Americans, I was shocked. Surely, this kind of harassment couldn't have been common place in the 1950's. Well, after some research, it turns out that 'Forkings,' as they were known, were all too common.
Click For Full Size
Click For Full Size
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
by Streeter Seidell November 27, 2006
It's that time of the week again, the time when we post the stupidest questions you heard in class. If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker.
Bending to popular demand, you'll pick the winner. Choose wisely, my friends, choose wisely...
A) Gettysburg College, Gettysburg, PA
Submitted by Amanda
In Physics, talking about gravity...
Genius: You know when you're driving, and you let go of the wheel and the car starts to drift to one side or the other?
Professor: Yes...
Genius: Does that mean the car is drifting towards the center of the earth?
Professor: No, that means you need to get you car realigned.
B) University of Florida, Gainesville, FL
Submitted by Leigh
Professor: You can buy the notes to help you study over the break, but you all will probably be saving your money for "Black Friday."
anyways.
Stupid Girl: What is that... Martin Luther King Day?
Hey...We Should Talk
by Streeter Seidell November 27, 2006
A brief look at how your peers are telling their Thanksgiving break hook-ups that they won't be coming to visit anytime soon.
Text Message |  |
Email |  |
Letter |  |
Letter, Written In Blood |  |
Video From Current Girlfriend |  |
What Are You Planning On Lying To Your High School Friends About?
by Streeter Seidell November 22, 2006
Thanksgiving has always been about lying. From your Mom telling you your Uncle isn't at dinner because he's "at sleep away camp for grownups" to the Indians being all like "yeah, you can live here, we won't scalp you," Thanksgiving and lying go hand in hand. But the biggest lies being told this Thanksgiving aren't coming from some half naked savage proclaiming that his children will inhabit this land for a million years to come, they're being told by you. So the question remains, What Are You Planning On Lying To You High School Friends About?
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
by Streeter Seidell November 20, 2006It's that time of the week again, the time when we post the stupidest questions you heard in class. If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. It's that simple.
5. Trinity University, San Antonio, TX
Submitted by Brett.
During Civil Rights class
Professor: She was Hispanic, so she joined the Farm Workers Association.
Bro: Wait, she was Hispanic? It thought that she was Mexican...
4. Forsyth Technical Community College, Winston-Salem, NC
Submitted by David
After studying a famous Renaissance painting in Art class
Professor: What are the characters in the painting looking at?
Genius Girl: The camera?
The Weekly Would You Rather
by Streeter Seidell November 17, 2006
It's that time of the week again. See if you can rationalize a decision for any of the following WYR's and don't forget you can send your best WYR's to me at Streeter.Seidell@Gmail.com.
Would You Rather...
Technologies That Sound Like Codenames For Secret Military Operations
by Streeter Seidell November 14, 2006
Editorial Correction On Drunken Emails To My Ex-Girlfriends
by Streeter Seidell November 16, 2006
In "Fukc YOU!"¯ sent to Amanda Bridle, October 14th, 3:12 AM
It should be noted that the passage reading, "Iknwo you fiucked SYTeve, yiou dunmb cnut./ I nmevbr wannt to see uyor fuigly facve again!@" neglected to mention that "STeve is af uckin afg and your'e a fuickking fahg too!" The editor appologizes for the omission.
In "SUp yo?" sent to Rachel Terri, September 18th, 2:41 AM
An editorial oversight is responsible for the lack of an exact date range in the sentence reading, "we h aven;'t chilled in forevs." It should be noted that in this instance, "forevs" refers to the time elapsed between the date of the email was sent and "TYhat time wehung outb lkast summner and hoioked up at Trents BBBQ. rtememmber?"
In "Ithikn ushould get checked" sent to Elizabeth Rockland, November 3rd, 3:59 AM
It was unclear in the initial email that the passge reading "i maY ave givne oyu hjerpes" refers to genital herpes, not oral herpes. Additionally absent in the original email is the important information that "Ithinkk I got it from tyhis girl i met at thisparty bnefore we hookjed upo whjen I waas hoime the othyer weekednd bnuit shje saiid that she doesnt jhave it biut i thikn she doesbut whjatever youi shouod give nme a cakll because sjhe said she dioesnt havbe it buyt I I thjink she deos."
It should be noted that the passage reading, "Iknwo you fiucked SYTeve, yiou dunmb cnut./ I nmevbr wannt to see uyor fuigly facve again!@" neglected to mention that "STeve is af uckin afg and your'e a fuickking fahg too!" The editor appologizes for the omission.
In "SUp yo?" sent to Rachel Terri, September 18th, 2:41 AM
An editorial oversight is responsible for the lack of an exact date range in the sentence reading, "we h aven;'t chilled in forevs." It should be noted that in this instance, "forevs" refers to the time elapsed between the date of the email was sent and "TYhat time wehung outb lkast summner and hoioked up at Trents BBBQ. rtememmber?"
In "Ithikn ushould get checked" sent to Elizabeth Rockland, November 3rd, 3:59 AM
It was unclear in the initial email that the passge reading "i maY ave givne oyu hjerpes" refers to genital herpes, not oral herpes. Additionally absent in the original email is the important information that "Ithinkk I got it from tyhis girl i met at thisparty bnefore we hookjed upo whjen I waas hoime the othyer weekednd bnuit shje saiid that she doesnt jhave it biut i thikn she doesbut whjatever youi shouod give nme a cakll because sjhe said she dioesnt havbe it buyt I I thjink she deos."
Facebook Challenge!
by Streeter Seidell November 15, 2006It's time for another Facebook Challenge! You know the rules: create one of the groups below, get 1,000 people to join and email me at Streeter.Seidell@Gmail.com when you've completed the task. If you're the first one to 1,000 members, you get a free BustedTee.. Without further ado, I give you...
The Groups
That's it. Remember to make your group global so as many people can join as possible. When you've hit 1,000 members, email me at Streeter.Seidell@gmail.com and, if you're the first, you get a free BustedTee
While you're at it, join our Facebook Group
Dining Hall Detective
by Streeter Seidell November 14, 2006
With so many awesome 'exotic' flavors being offered in America's college dining halls it can get pretty tough figuring out the ethnic heritage of the food that will soon give you diarrhea. Luckily, you can you this food color geo-location matrix to figure out exactly which area of the globe to thank for the itchy anus.
Color Of The Food ::: Geographical Origin
Indian | |
Chinese | |
West African | |
Central American | |
Scandinavian | |
Central Asain | |
? | |
SyscoĀ® Brand distribution center, Houston, Texas |
People You Hate
by Streeter Seidell November 15, 2006
You don't go to an Ivy league school and that's OK. Most people don't go to Harvard or Yale or Princeton and they all turn out alright. Better still, you're comfortable with the college you attend. You've got great friends, go to fun parties and have had a truly positive life experience. But not everyone can be as content as you. There's always one guy who simply cannot believe he attends the same school as you. One guy whose only goal during college is convincing everyone that someone, somewhere in the Columbia admissions office made a grievous error when going over his application. He will never actually admit he's your fellow student because, ladies and gentlemen, he's...
Too Good For This School Guy
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If at any point in a discussion, the subject of how good your school is relative to other schools in the country he'll loudly proclaim that he, "could've gotten into much better schools than this."
Click For Full Size
If at any point in a discussion, the subject of how good your school is relative to other schools in the country he'll loudly proclaim that he, "could've gotten into much better schools than this."
Why Are You Suing Borat?
by Streeter Seidell November 13, 2006
These days everyone is suing Borat. First it was the frat guys advocating slavery. Then it was a Turkish Internet celeb named Mahir. Now, it's the villagers from the movie. The real question is, how are you going to get some of that sweet, sweet cash?
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
by Streeter Seidell November 13, 2006It's that time of the week again, the time when we post the stupidest questions you heard in class. If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. It's that simple.
5. Penn State, State College, PA
Submitted by Amanda.
During a sociology lecture...
Professor: A lot of children who are a part of step-families experience problems. It's not usually like the Brady Bunch.
Girl who's devaluing my degree: Wait. The Brady Bunch was a step-family? That's what the song meant?
4. Fanshawe College, London, UK
Submitted by Katie
Double-Trouble
Prof: "The contributions to society made by these native Indians are huge"
Stupid Guy: "Yeah, didn't Indians invent fire?"
Even Stupider Girl: "Umm I'm pretty sure HUMANS invented fire!"
Common Injuries Of The 1990's
by Streeter Seidell November 11, 2006
Other Ways To Tell An Ex You Want To Hook Up Over Thanksgiving Break
by Streeter Seidell November 10, 2006
Uh-Oh, looks like your brilliant plan to screw half the women in your class didn't pan out this semester...again! Time to email your High School Ex and arrange for casual sex over Thanksgiving break. But how can you email her and not sound like a dirtbag? Don't worry, there are plenty of ways to hint that you're interested in reigniting the passion without actually saying it.
The Weekly WYR
by Streeter Seidell November 10, 2006It's that time of the week again. See if you can rationalize a decision for any of the following WYR's and don't forget you can send your best WYR's to me at Streeter.Seidell@Gmail.com.
Would You Rather...
Attention All Men
by Streeter Seidell November 07, 2006
TMZ.com has the full story
Don't be sad that a marriage has ended. Instead, take some time to remember what Britney Spears was before K-Fed...
Why You're Not Voting
by Streeter Seidell November 07, 2006
Happy Midterm Election Day, from your Editorial Staff!
Learn Something
by Streeter Seidell November 09, 2006
I'm back with my good friends over at Mental Floss bringing you the knowledge you absolutely need to get through life. For instance, why don't we learn a little bit about...
When it comes to syphilis, everyone's happy to point fingers. French called it "the English disease", Italians called it the "Spanish disease", Russians called it the "Polish disease", and Arabs called it "the Christian's disease." Of course, plenty of Christians were still referring to it by it's original nickname, "the French disease."
People You Hate
by Streeter Seidell November 08, 2006
As the old saying goes, "you can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but someone in the admissions office picks your freshman year roommate." Usually, they do a bad job, too. We've all had our share of terrible roommate experiences. Even if you live with your best friend you're bound to butt heads at some point. But you could add up all the fights you've ever had in your entire life and they wouldn't equal the frustration and anger that comes from living with this dude for one day. Some people call him a selfish dick, some call him social reject but me, I call him...
The Overly-Possessive Roommate
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Most likely an only child for whom sharing is a foreign concept, the overly-possessive roommate will not let you lay a single finger on any of his belongings.
Click For Full Size
Most likely an only child for whom sharing is a foreign concept, the overly-possessive roommate will not let you lay a single finger on any of his belongings.
Asking The Questions That Matter
by Streeter Seidell November 06, 2006
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
by Streeter Seidell November 06, 2006
It's that time of the week again, the time when we post the stupidest questions you heard in class. If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. It's that simple.
5. Texas A M, College Station, TX
Submitted by John.
Professor: "Be sure to bring your SCANTRON for 882-E for the test Wednesday."
Stupid Girl: "Is our test multiple choice?"
Professor: "No its an essay exam only using the letters A,B,C,D, and E."
4. Ohio State, Columbus, OH
Submitted by Kyle S.
Professor: Just as a reference, although there are 100 billion stars between our galaxy and the Andromeda Galaxy, since 1923, Nabisco has baked 400 billion Oreos, so there really aren't as many stars as people would like to believe.
Genius: Are those full Oreo cookies, or just the little black parts of the cookie?
3. University of Montana, Missoula, MT
Submitted by Jon G.
History Professor: For hundreds of years, dragons have been an important part
of Japanese mythology...
Scholarly Girl: Are dragons extinct now, or do they still have them in Japan?
2. University of Georgia, Athens, GA
Submitted by Cody P.
After handing back our midterms.
Professor: "...each question was worth one half point, no more, no less."
Trophy Wife To Be: Is that like each question being worth point five?"
Winner - Saint Joseph's University, Philadelphia, PA
Submitted by Anothy P.
Brilliant Young Man: Wouldn't it be great if they had flying busses?
(Silence)
Professor: ...Yes, they're called planes, son.
Congrats on winning yourself a Big Shocker, Anthony. And for any of you interested in winning one of your own, send us the stupidest question you've heard in class to CHStupidQuestions @Gmail.com and remember to include your school or we won't be able to use it.
Everyday Equations II
by Streeter Seidell November 03, 2006
Mathematical equations to get you through your everyday life. Compiled with the help of CIA statistical analyst, Jeff Rubin, and rumored sexual deviant, Intern Chris.
The Bro-Dawg Postulate: Your level of Bro-ness can be determined by multiplying how many days you've worn a puka shell necklace (without taking it off) by how many shirtless pictures of yourself are in your Facebook profile and dividing that number by how many OAR songs are on your play list.
B= Bro-Dawg level
D = Days you've worn a Puka Shell Necklace
S = Shirtless pictures on Facebook
OAR = Number of OAR songs on play list
Collins' Theory Flatuate Dispersal: When at a party you can determine how loud you'll be able to fart, undetected, by multiplying how many people are talking by how loud the music is.
D = Decibel level of a fart that can go unnoticed
P = Number of people talking
V = Volume of music, in decibels
The Delayed Reaction Conjecture: For each second your girlfriend thinks about it when answering the question "how many people have you hooked up with"¯ add 1 to her final answer.
DSB = Dudes she boned
A = Answer she gives you
S = Seconds it took her to think of the answer
Mulaney's Constant: Your roommate's masturbatory frequency is proportional to how often he clears his Internet history.
M = Mean time between masturbation
C = Mean time between clearing Internet History
The Bro-Dawg Postulate: Your level of Bro-ness can be determined by multiplying how many days you've worn a puka shell necklace (without taking it off) by how many shirtless pictures of yourself are in your Facebook profile and dividing that number by how many OAR songs are on your play list.
B= Bro-Dawg level
D = Days you've worn a Puka Shell Necklace
S = Shirtless pictures on Facebook
OAR = Number of OAR songs on play list
Collins' Theory Flatuate Dispersal: When at a party you can determine how loud you'll be able to fart, undetected, by multiplying how many people are talking by how loud the music is.
D = Decibel level of a fart that can go unnoticed
P = Number of people talking
V = Volume of music, in decibels
The Delayed Reaction Conjecture: For each second your girlfriend thinks about it when answering the question "how many people have you hooked up with"¯ add 1 to her final answer.
DSB = Dudes she boned
A = Answer she gives you
S = Seconds it took her to think of the answer
Mulaney's Constant: Your roommate's masturbatory frequency is proportional to how often he clears his Internet history.
M = Mean time between masturbation
C = Mean time between clearing Internet History
WINNER!
by Streeter Seidell November 03, 2006
Big ups, snaps and many props to Hayley Witherell whose group Remember that time we did that thing and that dude was there? passed the 1,000 member mark in a little over 39 hours. Hayley has won herself a free BustedTee for her troubles.
Thanks to everyone who participated and you'll get another shot at that free shirt in two weeks when the Facebook Challenge returns.
And remember to join the join the official CollegeHumor Facebook group.
Drunk-O-Vision
by Streeter Seidell November 05, 2006
Learn Something
by Streeter Seidell November 02, 2006Traveling is fun, inside and outside the country, but if you're going on vacation you should definitely know what you can get away with. Today Mental Floss and I are dropping knowledge about places to avoid and places to visit based on...
Avoid: Thailand
Because: You can't go commando. It's illegal to leave your house if you aren't wearing underwear. It is legal, however, to pay $10,000 to shoot someone, apparently. The guy who wrote Hostel based it on a Thai website claiming to book torture vacations.
Visit: Hawaii
Because: You'll never run into David Blaine, or any amateur magician for that matter. It's illegal for citizens to place coins in one's ears according to state law. However, there is nothing on the books about levitating, so...
The Weekly WYR?
by Streeter Seidell November 03, 2006
It's that time of the week again. See if you can rationalize a decision for any of the following WYR's and don't forget you can send yours to me at Streeter.Seidell@Gmail.com.
Would You Rather...
Eat a piece of your own poop or eat a piece of your girlfriend's?
From Intern Jake
Be a famous rockstar or a famous athlete?
Have all music be replaced by beep-boop ringtones or have are all ringtones be replaced by sounds of you parent's having sex?
From Jeff Rubin
Be forced to announce every fart you're about to let out or be forced to recount, in detail, your sexual history to your grandparents?
Get paid $400 for straight porn or get paid $4000 for gay porn?
From Cory
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