The Morning After
by Streeter Seidell January 30, 2007
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
by Streeter Seidell January 29, 2007
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back again, ready to embarrass the kids who cheapen your degree. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CHStupidQuestions @ Gmail.com.
The NomineesA) Virginia Tech, Blacksburg, VA
Submitted by JD
The professor has a very thick accent and raspy voice.
Professor: I was one year old when I had surgery, and that made my voice like this.
Future Trophy Wife: So, like, before then you spoke perfect English?
Professor: Yes! Until I was one, I spoke perfect English, then I got accent!
B) Belmont University, Nashville, TN
Submitted by Ryan
Professor: A theoretical is a question like, "Knowing the future what would you change about the past?"
The Mind: Or like, knowing the past what would you change about the future?
Professor: No, that is just called living.
An Exceptional Honor For An Exceptional Product
by Streeter Seidell January 30, 2007And the winner of the Worst Product Name In History Award goes to...
Herpecin L!
Herpecin L!
Herpecin L had the stones to buck the trend of naming your over-the-counter medication after the desired result - Flonase, Claratin, Aleve - and went right for the jugular by reminding the consumer exactly what was wrong with them! And they didn't dance around the issue, either! They could have called it "Coldsorex" or "Sorecin" to soften the blow, but that kind of weak sh*t isn't what the makers of Herpecin L are about. No, they're about letting people know that the stinging wound on their lip isn't a 'cold sore' but a form of herpes! Way to not pull punches, Herpecin L!
Super-Secret Superbowl Information
by Streeter Seidell January 27, 2007
Look, I can't say who gave them to me but I got my hands on the brainstorming notes from a bunch of different Superbowl advertisers. I don't know if any of these ideas actually got made into commercials for the game next week, but at least you can see the creative process that goes into your favorite Superbowl ad spots.
Old Navy
Bud Light
Old Navy
I Just Want To Know
by Streeter Seidell January 26, 2007
At what point in his life does a High Times staff writer go, "Ya know, I think I like weed enough to base my career on it."
The Weekly WYR
by Streeter Seidell January 26, 2007
Would You Rather...
- Only be able to see people from their neck up or only be able to see people from their neck down? From Randy
- Take a great dump or have bad sex? From Leo
- Have pickles for arms and have everyone call you a freak or have a pickle for a penis and have no one know? From Grant
- Have no YouTube or no DVDs?
- Be black and be named Screech, or be white and named La'walter? From Nicholas
- Go half the posted speed limit forever and catch every green light or go as fast as you want and catch every red light? From Jimmy
- Have your phone number be 555-1212 or 867-5309? From Christin
- Have the genitalia of a bear and the tongue of a giraffe, or only be able to have sex with fat, ugly, angry, inattentive waitresses for the rest of your life? From Brian
- Have to listen to 1,000 crappy Borat impressions or 1,000 crappy
Dave Chappelle impressions? From Jeremy
And this week's winner of the Excessively Painful Even To Read Award goes to Chris, who sent in this...
- Would you rather, grind your teeth on chalkboard until they're worn down to the gums or cut your achilles tendon using nothing but your finger nails?
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com
It's Back!
by Streeter Seidell January 25, 2007
Hey guys. Just wanted to let everyone know that our Great Aunt, Gertrude, died the other day. I mean, we didn't really know her all that well but still it's sad when a family member dies, ya know? But check this out, in her will she left us $10,000! The one condition was that we have to give the money to America's Hottest College Girl so we were like, "Well, might as well have a contest!"
Are you a hot girl? If so, take your chance at winning our Dead Great Aunt's money by submitting your picture HERE.
Do you know a hot girl who likes money? Rare, I know, but if you happen to be acquainted with one you can send her the link below.
Do you know a hot girl who likes money? Rare, I know, but if you happen to be acquainted with one you can send her the link below.
www.collegehumor.com/hottestgirl/signup
The grand prize winner will receive...
The grand prize winner will receive...
- A 14 day trip to Cleveland, OH for her and a friend
- Just kidding
- She'll really get $10,000
- A trip to New York City for her and a friend
- A party thrown in her honor by the illustrious and extremely attractive CollegeHumor Staff
- And a BustedTees modeling contract
Another Morning After?
by Streeter Seidell January 24, 2007
Facebook Challenge - Winner
by Streeter Seidell January 24, 2007
Mad props are due to Pier Maselli, whose group "Velcro Shoes - All Day, All Night, All Style" crossed the 1,000 member mark late last night. One would assume that Pier would select No Strings Attached for his t-shirt since it was the profile pic he chose for the group, but the choice is his to make. No matter which BustedTee Pier chooses, I'd like to thank everyone who played and wish you all better luck the next time the Facebook Challenge rolls into town.
Oh, and if you haven't yet, join Our Facebook Group. It's the closest you can get to Intern Jake without breaking any laws...
Oh, and if you haven't yet, join Our Facebook Group. It's the closest you can get to Intern Jake without breaking any laws...
The Morning After
by Streeter Seidell January 23, 2007
It's Tuesday and you know what that means...Tacos for Dinner!
It also means we've got our Morning After 24 article posted.
Also, my good friend John will be bringing you Morning After articles on Heroes every week. Welcome him! DO IT!
It also means we've got our Morning After 24 article posted.
Also, my good friend John will be bringing you Morning After articles on Heroes every week. Welcome him! DO IT!
Getting A Fergie Song Out Of Your Head
by Streeter Seidell January 24, 2007
Step 1.
Put on your iPod and listen to a song even worse than one of Fergie's. The theory is that the combined terribleness of both steaming piles of awfulness will cancel each other out in your brain.
Put on your iPod and listen to a song even worse than one of Fergie's. The theory is that the combined terribleness of both steaming piles of awfulness will cancel each other out in your brain.
Fun With Stock Photos
by Streeter Seidell January 25, 2007Royalty-Free Fun!
Statements From The Un-Racist Racist!
by Streeter Seidell January 22, 2007
"Well, if Mexicans are all so lazy how come I always see them hard at work, selling fruit on the highway off ramp?"
The Stupid Question Hall of Fame
by Streeter Seidell January 22, 2007The Nominees
A) ESADE Business School, Barcelona, Spain
Submitted by Martin
On the first day of our exchange program in Spain:
Professor: Bienvenidos todos a ESADE y a la clase de Marketing Internacional.
The Mind: Wait, this class is in Spanish?
B) Georgia Southern University, Statesboro, GA
Submitted by Stephen
During American Government discussing the Constitution:
Black Student: Is the 3/5 compromise still used in the Constitution today?
Submitted by Martin
On the first day of our exchange program in Spain:
Professor: Bienvenidos todos a ESADE y a la clase de Marketing Internacional.
The Mind: Wait, this class is in Spanish?
B) Georgia Southern University, Statesboro, GA
Submitted by Stephen
During American Government discussing the Constitution:
Black Student: Is the 3/5 compromise still used in the Constitution today?
The More You Know...
by Streeter Seidell January 19, 2007
Have you ever been watching MTV True Life and said to yourself, "Where did they find a 400 pound, pimple-faced, gay kid from New Jersey who wants to be Prom King?" the answer is Craigslist. Everyday, hundreds of cable stations flood the Craigslist "TV/Film/Radio" section with casting calls, job openings and idea searches. Just look at the ones I found this morning...
The Weekly WYR
by Streeter Seidell January 19, 2007Would You Rather...
- Listen to Larry the Cable Guy or Carlos Mencia for 5 straight hours? From Jeff
- Be dipped shoulder deep into a pool of poop or dunk your head into a bucket of puke (neither of which is your own)? From Todd
- Get your ass beat front of your friends by your little brother, or big sister? From Ron
- Listen to one song over and over again for the rest of your life or never listen to music ever again?
- Have three eyes or one cyclops eye? From Tyler
- Fight one gorilla or three chimpanzees?
- Be buried alive or dropped off in the middle of the Sahara with no water? From Martin
- Have live shrimp for nipples or have crayons for teeth? From Nicholas
- Accidentally kill a family member and get away with it or go to prison for 10 years for a crime you didn't commit? From Tyler
- Have diarrhea during a first date or during a job interview? From Michael
- Be best friends with Kevin Federline or have no friends at
all? From Robert
- Would you rather have your fingers sewn together into mitten hands,
or have your teeth fused together into one big chomp?
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com
Learn Something
by Streeter Seidell January 18, 2007
MentalFloss and I are back again to teach you valuable information. Today we're going to learn about...
Internet Firsts
The 1st Internet Banner Ad was created for the notoriously crappy beverage, Zima, back in 1998. Since then banner ads have come a long way - back then the idea of swatting 10 George W. Bush-headed flies to win a free iPod nano seemed ludicrous. How quaint. 1st person to try to hawk off his virginity online: Florida Honor student and president of his school’s computer and A/V club (read: nerd), Francis Cornworth was willing to drive all the way to Orlando if you were willing to pay for his innocence. Bidding began at a modest $10, and slowly rose until Ebay put a stop to the fun. He is still a virgin today, all thanks to Ebay's prudish ways.
The Morning Poll
by Streeter Seidell January 17, 2007
We want to know...
The Return Of The Facebook Challenge!
by Streeter Seidell January 17, 2007It's been a long winter break but with everyone back at school I think it's time for another Facebook Challenge. I'll go over the rules again since it's been a while since our last challenge. 1) make one of the groups listed below (make sure to make it a global group so everyone can join) 2) Get 1,000 people to join your group. 3) Email me at Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com when your group hits the 1,000 member mark. The first person to email me after getting 1,000 members wins a Free BustedTee. It's that simple, folks. Let's meet our groups, shall we?
The Groups
That's it. Remember to make your group global so as many people can join as possible. When you've hit 1,000 members, email me at Streeter.Seidell @ gmail.com and, if you're the first, you get a free BustedTee.
While you're at it, join our Facebook Group.
- Velcro Shoes - all day, all night, all style.
- Jews for Jewsus
- My Dad Beats Me
- Taint nothing between my testicles and anus. Why do you ask?
- Army? Sign me up!
- Dishwashers are wasteful and impractical
- Anybody else kind of miss Saddam?
- Super Excited for Eddie Murphy's 'Norbit.'
- TIDE LAUNDRY DETERGENT F-ING SUCKS. HARD!
- Beer tastes like puke. I would never drink it.
- For real guy, I never knew you felt like that
- You're and you'r: Get it right people!
- Yeah, I'm talking on my Bluetooth headset. Deal with it, loser.
- Pro life? Pro choice? Who cares?
- Keep it down, please? I’m trying to read.
- I need a drummer for my new age funk metal band
- I hate the smell of cooking bacon!
- The Simpsons Sucks. Always had, Always Will.
- Virgins
That's it. Remember to make your group global so as many people can join as possible. When you've hit 1,000 members, email me at Streeter.Seidell @ gmail.com and, if you're the first, you get a free BustedTee.
While you're at it, join our Facebook Group.
Introducing The Morning After
by Streeter Seidell January 16, 2007
Hi everyone,
As you know, watching TV is the greatest thing in the world. That's just a simple fact. The only problem with TV is that often times your friends aren't into the same shows you are. When you try to talk to them about it they get all high and mighty, like somehow they're better than you because they don't watch Lost. Well they can just go STRAIGHT TO HELL! YOU HEAR ME, TYLER?! GO TO HELL, JUST LIKE YOUR DEAD GRANDFATHER!
Sorry. Anyway, in an effort to bring like minded people together, we'll be posting reviews, critiques and discussion about 24, Lost, Grey's Anatomy and Heroes the day after they air. Why don't we get things started with 24?
Click to Read
As you know, watching TV is the greatest thing in the world. That's just a simple fact. The only problem with TV is that often times your friends aren't into the same shows you are. When you try to talk to them about it they get all high and mighty, like somehow they're better than you because they don't watch Lost. Well they can just go STRAIGHT TO HELL! YOU HEAR ME, TYLER?! GO TO HELL, JUST LIKE YOUR DEAD GRANDFATHER!
Sorry. Anyway, in an effort to bring like minded people together, we'll be posting reviews, critiques and discussion about 24, Lost, Grey's Anatomy and Heroes the day after they air. Why don't we get things started with 24?
Click to Read
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
by Streeter Seidell January 15, 2007The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back from break and ready to embarrass your classmates once again. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CHStupidQuestions @ Gmail.com.
The Nominees
A) Molloy College, Rockville Centre, NY
Submitted by Anthony
During a class discussion on WWII
Bright Fellow: Wait, hold on. What's the difference between aircraft carriers and aircraft?
B) Manhattan College, Bronx, New York
Submitted by Alex
During Art Appreciation
Professor: Today we are going to start the self portraits we have been learning about.
Genius: Do we get to pick who we do our's on?
How To Win A Free T-Shirt...For Dummies
by Streeter Seidell January 12, 2007
Yesterday I asked for you to make a 'For Dummies' book cover and send it to me for your chance to win a free BustedTee. Now it's time to vote. Thanks to everyone who submitted.
VOTE
1. From CJ
1. From CJ
The Weekly WYR
by Streeter Seidell January 12, 2007It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, send it to me at Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com.
Would You Rather...
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com
Would You Rather...
- Have a fresh baked pumpkin pie, or a fresh baked apple pie? From Ben
- Get caught masturbating by your friends or get caught watching "From Justin to Kelly" by your friends?
- Eat all your family members or have them all eat you? From Billy
- Have your penis and your nose switched or your mouth and anus switched? From Adam
- Have the arms of the opposite sex or the legs? From Spencer
- Drink a bottle of Ketchup or Mustard? From David
- Get rejected by a girl in front of all your friends or have Jessica Alba tell you she finds you the most unattractive man on the planet?
- Drink rotten milk out of a hairy glass or drink fresh milk out of a hairy ass? From DJ - Rhyming Bonus Points!
- Stare at a closeup picture of a butthole for 22 minutes every week or watch 24/7 every week?
- Would you rather have the ability to fly at walking speed or fly one foot off the ground as fast as you can?
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com
Learn Something
by Streeter Seidell January 11, 2007It's been a while since MentalFloss and I teamed up to teach you valuable information. Luckily, we're back to drop some much-needed knowledge on the youth of America. Today we're going to learn about...
Famous Arrests
Winona likes to steal and George Michael likes to whip it out, that much is true. But did you know about these other famous arrests?
 | In terms of historical celebrities, President Ulysses S. Grant was actually arrested during his term in office on speeding charges. That’s right, the President got pulled over and fined $20 for exceeding the Washington speed limit on his horse. Also, he was probably drunk, as that was kind of 'his thing.' |
 | Of course, Grant’s just one of a number of respectable celebs who’ve landed in the clink for traffic violations. The 21-year old Bill Gates got sent to the New Mexico slammer, not once, but twice for driving his Porsche 911 without a license, and racing past stop signs. |
Do Not Be Afraid To Stand Up For What Is Right...
by Streeter Seidell January 15, 2007
On this day when we remember the great Dr. King, let us not forget others who stood up to the powers that be and demanded change. Whether it was equal rights - in Dr. King's case - or freedom of speech or even environmental protection. Yes, protesting and challenging authority has it's risks, but the question you must ask yourself is: "Am I brave enough to stand up for my beliefs even if they cause me to be arrested, persecuted or even killed?" I know one man who said "Yes, yes I am!"
The Power Is Yours!
I'll Just Go Ahead And Make The Obvious Joke...
by Streeter Seidell January 11, 2007Ha ha ha, wasn't that fun?! How about this, you make your own and send me the code at Streeter.Seidell@gmail.com. When I get enough I'll put the best ones up and you guys can vote on them. Winner gets a free BustedTee.
Go to THIS SITE to make the covers and, when you're done, copy and paste the embed code into an email to me. Make sure to include your name.
Just as it is a father's dream is to see his son become a better man than himself, it is mine to see you readers out-cover me.
Go to THIS SITE to make the covers and, when you're done, copy and paste the embed code into an email to me. Make sure to include your name.
Just as it is a father's dream is to see his son become a better man than himself, it is mine to see you readers out-cover me.
Making The Most Of Your Sinful Ways
by Streeter Seidell January 10, 20071. The Bridge Of Pleasure
 | |
| First, balance yourself on the tips of your toes and the top of your head. Make sure to spread your legs wide to create a stable base. With your dominant hand, reach down and pleasure yourself. With your non-dominant hand you may grab your thigh, place it on the floor to steady yourself, or entertain your anus, if that’s your thing. | |
| Muscles Worked | |
 |  |
The Stupid Question Hall Of Fame
by Streeter Seidell January 08, 2007The Stupid Question Hall of Fame is back from break and ready to embarrass your classmates once again. Remember the rules - If you send in the absolute stupidest, you get a free Big Shocker. Read all five and cast your vote. And, if you heard something stupid in class this week, send it to me at CHStupidQuestions @ Gmail.com.
The NomineesA) Thomas More College, Lexington, KY
Submitted by Jeff
While looking over the class list before registration...
Girl: Why does professor Staff teach so many classes?
B) University of the Pacific, Stockton, CA
Submitted by Jillian
In a class for Special Education teachers, professor had just handed out a TAKE HOME final.
Idiot: Professor, is this an open book exam?
Professor: *Laughs at her* Only if you want it to be.
The Weekly WYR
by Streeter Seidell January 05, 2007It's my favorite time of the week, it's time for the Weekly WYR. See if you're brave enough to choose a side in what surely are the universe's most difficult quagmires. And remember, if you've got a great WYR, send it to me at Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com.
Would You Rather...
And today's "Hate-Fueled Bigot" award goes to Ron, who sent this in.
Congrats, Ron, you're a horrible person.
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com
Would You Rather...
- Have your hands covered in scabs that never heal or have them covered in nasty acne that never goes away? From Anthony
- Ruin your best friend's wedding or have him ruin yours?
- Always smell like poop or have everyone else always smell like poop? From Richard
- Make out with Hulk Hogan or tell Hulk Hogan you had sex with
his daughter? From Trey - Eat people meat once or eat wet cat food everyday?
- Not have elbows, making your arms permanently straight, or not have knees, making your legs permanently straight? From Emily
- Be able to fly like Superman or have every other super power combined but not the power to fly?
- Puke every 30 minutes for the rest of your life, or constantly have a fever of 103? From John
- Have you parents and everyone you know be able to see your entire Google search history or see every email and IM you've ever sent?
- Never be able to blink or never be able to shut your mouth? From Will
And today's "Hate-Fueled Bigot" award goes to Ron, who sent this in.
"This may not be very PC but I don't care. Here goes:
Would you rather have a son who came out and told you he was gay
OR
have your daughter marry a black guy?
Tough one, huh?"
Congrats, Ron, you're a horrible person.
Send your best WYR's to Streeter.Seidell @ Gmail.com
Important Information For Spring Semester
by Streeter Seidell January 08, 2007
Nothing is more important than getting the right seat on the first day of class. Use the chart below to determine which seat will fit you best when you show up for the first day of classes next week.
 | Only sit in this area if you are teaching the class. This is very important to remember. |
 | These seats are good for the visually impaired, since anything written the board will be easier to see from up close. If you're a visually impaired ass-kisser, these seats are doubly good. |
 | This is the seat for the kid that nobody is sure will show up today. If you ask if anyone is sitting in that seat you'll be met by a chorus of I-think-he-just-went-to-the-bathroom's or I-saw-him-in-the-hallway's from the desks nearby. |
 | These desks are commonly occupied by students who enjoy turning around in their chairs and asking questions like, "What did professor Williams just say?" or "Did you get the notes from the last lab? I missed half of it." |
 | If you are a visable minority, you'll want to sit here. Notice I said "want to" instead of "be forced to." Isn't progress wonderful? |
Reflections On Life, By The Six Flags Dancing Old Man
by Streeter Seidell January 04, 2007
Every year it is the same. The phone rings by my bedside as the milky morning sunlight creeps through the blinds of my frigid bedroom, jolting me from my peaceful slumber. With heavy hands I reach for my spectacles – good, reliable spectacles with black rims and heavy lenses. “Hello,” I sigh into the phone.
“Hey! It’s your favorite marketing director!” comes the reply. “How’ve you been, old man!?” When did the young people of this country stop respecting their elders?
“Hello, Thomas,” I say, rubbing my temples.
Other Things Virginia Is For, Besides Lovers
by Streeter Seidell January 02, 2007
1. Ham
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