While passing through campus
On the way to class
I saw a douche in a polo
Popped collar, like an ass

I assumed I was mistaken
But then it bothered me
Why would one partake
In such acts of faggotry?

I glimpsed upon the visor,
That Bluetooth phone
Both asserted to me
That it is men whom he’d bone

He may believe his apparel
Is a clever disguise
Although it makes it more obvious
That he is into guys

I hope one day
We will live in a place
Where all who pop collars
Are kicked in the face.

• "I fucking hate you. I hate all of you."

• "I love you guys."

_________________________________________________________

• "Who is your boyfriend? I bet he sucks dick."

• "Please don't get your boyfriend."

• "I didn't say you suck dick, it was that guy over there."

• "Shit. I think I'm bleeding."

_________________________________________________________

• "You're cute. I'd totally rape you"

• "I meant that if I were a rapist, I would rape you. It was supposed to be a compliment."

• "I just meant that you're my type, I think you're cute."

• "Please don't call the police."

_________________________________________________________

• "I am so drunk, I fucking love beer!"

• "I am never drinking again."

• "I just threw up. I can't drink anymore."

• "Yeah, I guess you can pour me another one."

• "I fucking love beer!"

_________________________________________________________

• "Officer, its okay, we were looking through her window before she started changing her clothes."

This might start a small fire somewhere if you're lucky, but don't get your hopes up.

Sarah is a muse. 

Hey, babe. Yeah, just come over to the house. What? Drinkin’ beers with my brahs. What day is it? Um, Wednesday? Valentine’s what? Oh, whatever, that’s for fags anyways. Get over here. Its twenty degrees outside? You can make it, what are you, a pussy? That’s what I thought.

Twenty-five minutes later.

Yo, babe. I can’t kiss you in front of the brahs. No, I’m not saying that. Don’t deny me a bro-grab. That’s not cool. You’re damn right we have to talk, let Moose bong this beer first. Yeah, Moose! Effin’ A!

Alright, what did you want to talk about? Oh yeah, denying me a bro-grab in front of the brahs. Not cool, Ashley, not cool. Why wouldn’t I kiss you? We’re in front of the brahs, I don’t want them thinking I’m gay or something. What do you mean by “How is it gay to kiss a girl?” It just is, alright. Same goes for saying “I love you.” Its just gay. I don’t make the rules.

Why are you crying? Cut it out, seriously, they’ll hear us. I told you, Valentine’s day is for fags. We’re all wearing pink, though. That should be enough. No, I’m not in love with Moose more than you. Thats gay. Moose is a solid guy, though, and you’re unstable. Hey, want to shotgun a Natty? Fine. We won’t. Come on, stop it. This is really killing my buzz, Ashley.

Finally. You done crying? What do you mean “My parents were right, you’re going nowhere in life?” I’m starting an internship at Moose’s dad’s dealership next summer. My grades are shitty? Big Deal. I already said that Moose is hooking me up.

So this is it? You’re breaking up with me. Well, actually, I’m breaking up with you. How do you like that? Hey, want to shotgun a beer before you go? The offer stands. Screw you, too, then! You were sleeping with who? Moose? Well, he’s my brah, you probably tricked him with your whoreish sorcery, bitch. Later, hater.

 Yo Moose! Pong? Aight, cool.

This week on the George Lopez Show, George and his family got into a crazy predicament and hilarity ensued. George made several references to his Mexican roots, while also playfully poking fun at his Hispanic brethren. I couldn't verbalize my laughter, as I am white, and it would be wrong to laugh at other cultures.

At a dinner of quesadillas and burritos, George again joked about Hispanics. It was moderately funny.

In the end, George and his family overcame the problem. George then said that the Hispanics are strong people and can overcome adversity, it was quite touching. He then broke the mood by making fun of Hispanics again.

If you missed this episode, you can hear all of his Hispanic jokes on the next episode of Mind of Mencia.