This is an actuall conversation with on of my friends....

MDD44K: god damn it.... work sux
MDD44K: i want matt back (we went to jail)
MDD44K: h
(dumb girl): lol he or we
MDD44K: lol we....
(dumb girl): what! you went to jail! what when?!
MDD44K: well see i told the cop gullable wasnt in the dictonary.... and he was so shocked when he discoverd that i wasnt, he sent me to jail
(dumb girl): MIKEY! when?
MDD44K: like 2 weeks ago
(dumb girl): MIKEY
MDD44K: did u read my story of how i got in jail?
(dumb girl): no where was it?
MDD44K: MDD44K (1:59:18 PM): well see i told the cop gullable wasnt in the dictonary.... and he was so shocked when he discoverd that i wasnt, he sent me to jail
(dumb girl): yeah i read that.
(dumb girl): lol....... -mike shakes head-
MDD44K: yeah i cant belive he didnt know gullable wasnt in the dictonary
(dumb girl): gullible is in the dictionary
MDD44K: no its not go look
(dumb girl): i did gullible is in the dictionary
MDD44K: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAH
(dumb girl): lol shut up
(dumb girl): gah ill be back
(dumb girl) is away at 2:03:49 PM.
MDD44K: lol
Auto response from (dumb girl): gahh... i feel like an idiot

MDD44K: HAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHHA

Here's how it went down: I've got these two friends taking this Geology class. Riveting, I know. One of them tells me they have to write a paper about the Three Kings Islands, some small chain of islands north of New Zealand which apparently make geologists giddy with excitemet. I couldn't resist, I wrote my own version, and handed it in to the class that I'm not actually enrolled in. A week ago, I went to collect my 'assingment', only to find that it had somehow disappeared in the grading process. I can't imagine why. So, I submit it here, someone has to grade this for me...

Will Mitchell
Student Extraordinaire

The Three Kings Island: A Brief Historical Interpretation
There are some documents in existence which will seek to find understanding of the geological composition of Three Kings Island through a purely basic study of landscape geology. However, to understand fully the meaning behind the myth that is Three Kings Island, we must dig deeper into its history. Thus, we digress, to digest.
Three Kings Island was first discovered in 1343 by a blind Canadian, Sheamus Jiggerbottom. Jiggerbottom came upon the island while trying to break the world speed record for a man powered canoe. Traveling alone, save his dog Puddles, Jiggerbottom was entranced by the amazing geology of the island. Unlike islands he had seen in the past, the mountains on Three Kings Island grew at a rate of 10 feet an hour, only to shrink back down after nightfall. Historians disagree upon the reasoning behind this finding. Many suspect that Three Kings Island may have once lay upon a rare subducting convergence fault line. Others believe the rationale to be the massive amount of LSD Jiggerbottom was known to take. Because of his debilitating blindness, Jiggerbottom was forced to view, and record, all of his findings in sign language.
It was not until 1833 that Three Kings Island received its current title. It was so named because of the three Kings that had laid claim to the land (King Louis IV of France, King Henry VIII of England, and King Kong). Mapmakers collectively made the decision to change the title at the 1831 MILF (Mapmakers Illuminating Land Fables) convention, after opinion was voiced that a hand vaguely resembling a paper crane was too hard to draw.
Early settlements on Three Kings Island had been established by both the English and the French. While King Kong did not have any ape settlers, both the French and the English acknowledged that a large section of the island was his. Tensions became tight quickly however, as the French and the English hated each other, and because of the increasing theft from banana farms around the island. In 1855 war broke out on the island between the three clans. For nearly five years, battle raged on the small island. Several notable officials were killed in the slaughter; however their names were not recorded. It was only in 1954 when an American task force intervened that the carnage finally ended.
Still afraid of the wrath of the great monkey, the French and English settlers surrendered their land claims to the Americans. The Americans dealt with King Kong quickly and quietly, he was offered and initial cash settlement of $2.5 million USD, as well as the rights to his appearances in Hollywood cinema for 125 years. Talks between the two sides nearly broke down due to a contract disagreement; however the Americans eventually caved to Kong's demand that he be allowed to fondle no less than one pair breasts during the filming of each of his movies. Ultimately, Kong received his cash settlement and movie deal, as well as one smaller island in the South Pacific. The Americans received full rights to the commercialization and habitation of Three Kings Island.
Over the next 40 years, Three Kings Island remained fairly quiet by high school textbook standards. None the less, population on the island grew, and by 1990 almost 40 million islanders occupied the island.
In 1998, Sir Howard Moon, for whom the capital is named (Howard), decided that it was time to start pulling some money out of this amazingly untapped economic resource.
Moon was born into poverty on July 15th 1976, in the American city of Atlanta. It was here that Moon first discovered his passion for the great American sport of stock car racing. At age 35, Moon founded his own racing organization, Necrophiliacs Anxiously Surveying Concentric Automobile Repetition, NASCAR. Fearful that his new breed of racing might not take flight in the fledgling American continent, Moon decided to find a second demographic on which to test the limits of his corporation. Shortly there after, the world stood witness to glorious marriage of Three Kings Island and NASCAR.
Today, Three Kings Island is the largest single fan base for NASCAR, with almost 80% of the Island's population attending the weekly race. The remaining 20% is a proverbial pie chart of racing employees, priests, taxi drivers, and unregistered voters. By the time of his death, Sir Howard Moon, who died at the age of 78 of ovarian cancer, amassed a fortune of an estimated 18 billion sea shells and 588 million petrified fig leaves, the two local forms of currency.
In conclusion, geology is a way of understanding the history of a place, and history is what determines the geology of a place. Surely there can be no single place on earth which boasts as rich and fruitful a history as Three Kings Island. By the transitive property, it is therefore true that Three Kings Island has the best geology of any place on Earth. Don't ever forget it. Boo-ya, Seacrest out.

clean that shit