Dear Justin (or JT if you prefer)

Thank you so much for bringing sexy back. Sexy was gone, lost in a sea of fat people, sports bras, cakes, conservative clothing, and under produced music. You are a true American hero, just like the fire-fighters of September 11th, the soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, the members of "The Greatest Generation" that fought for us during World War II, Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, 2Pac, and others. You are a true revolutionary and have brought a sweeping set of changes to the American family that will only make life better. Thanks to your music girls will dress sluttier, men will be slightly more homo-erotic, synthesizers that haven't worked in 20 years will have work again. Colleges and Universities across the country will give degrees and doctorates in sexiness thanks to your teachings. Your album is proof of what a great human being you are, even the title "Futuresex/Lovesounds" is proof that you are such a great person you can go forward in time and give us a preview of what sex will be like in the future! (apparently according to the tone of your voice . . . it will be with robots . . . SEXY ROBOTS!!!) The media will honor you; Fox News will produce a segment proving how patriotic of an American you are, VH1 will get D list celebrities to do a nostalgic review of your life in a series of hour long specials, PBS will have a Ken Burns special on your life, Chuck Norris jokes will become actual facts about you. Novartis and Pfizer pharmaceuticals will knock at your door asking for your bodily fluids that can apparently cure cancer! You'll take a cue from the Scientology peeps and start a religion worshiping something that sounds like an episode of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" and all of Hollywood will follow. Justin Timberlake you make the anus of any straight male quiver, terrorists recoil in fear, and fat melt off in just 5 minutes a day! Justin thank you for bringing sexy back, capturing Osama "yo momma" BinLaden (a feat Justin will do in February of 2008), and for just being such an idol for little boys everywhere too look up to (what 13 year old didn't wanna bang Britney Spears before pregnancy?) You will be remembered with Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen as one of the great American song writers, as a patriot like Ben Franklin or Bill O'Reilly, Justin you did more then bring sexy back, you saved America.

Thanks Justin
Your No.1 Fan
Jose "JT DO ME!!!" Nieto