Hi, I'm one of the guys that you clean up after on the 12th floor of my Universities housing tower who is guilty of faulty trajectory and a lack of motivation to flush the toilet. You see, it's not that I don't want my waste to travel a long and dark journey into the underworld, it's just that I feel that it would be wrong of me not to share my work with my floormates and in turn, America.
It may not be entirely understandable, but male urination is much like a firehouse. And have you ever seen a fireman wake up at 7 A.M. to man a house half sleep, yawning, and slightly unconcious. Yeah, not good. So you see much like a fireman with a hang over just as the sun is rising, peeing in the morning is HARD work.
But, you may be thinking, that's not the only time when such occorances may...occur. It's true, I must admit, when I get back from the bar at 3 A.M., I must again filthy your workstation. Come on though, you can't get that mad, I was drunk and thus leaves me free and clear of all social responsiblities.
I believe that sums up our disagreements. And if I ever catch you in our male public bathroom facility again I'll call our 12th floor militia into formation to disban you. Don't think I won't do it. We don't practice every second sunday of the month for nothing.

With love and affection,
Representative 1208