Man, I'm bored. I wish I could drive, or maybe do something that would relieve my boredom and make me less inhibited. Drink some magic liquid, maybe; ah, what a crazy dream.
Oh, oh, wait! Dude! Victoria's Secret commercial! Get back in here! Oh, Adriana Lima, so hot. Oh man this is amazing. I can't wait until we're in college, I bet all the girls there look like Gisele. Oh, this is so hot, I can't wait until all the girls in our class have boobs like that.
Oh man, that commercial was great. So hot.
Well, I'm hungry. I'll go get my mom to make me some pizza rolls once I'm able to stand up.

blah.

Because you're doing it wrong.

Well, it hurts.I think you're tearing my penis skin off.

Why are your hands made of sandpaper? It's a humid day. Do you want to use some of my moisturizer? I have a huge tub. I'm just saying.

I think I'm bleeding. Yup, the bottom of my shaft is bleeding. You can't see that blood? It's on your hand.

Can you spit on your hand or something?

No, I don't think it's gross.

You're not a tugboat. No tugging!

Ow. Owowowowowow. OW!

Okay, stop. I've got to go put a band-aid on my dick.

I, uh...I don't think we should see each other anymore.

1. Dump her
2. Start dating local community college freshman
3. Start argument
4. Use big words