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Overheard dialogue between Paris Hilton and, lesser known hotel heiress, Juneau Ramada

by Rik May 11, 2007

Paris: ... so I'll be there for about a month.
Juneau: Wow, that's quite a story.
Paris: Especially when you read it in The Enquirer the morning after. I couldn't remember a thing.
Juneau: Is your dad mad at you?
Paris: 'Course not, how could he be? I'm daddy's little princess and he knows those bad cops are framing me. He says it's just like O.J.
Juneau: Really?
Paris: Totally.
Juneau: Well, what's going to happen to your dog while you're there?
Paris: Actually, I was wondering if you'd take care of Tinkerbell.
Juneau: Oh wow, I'm really flattered but I've already agreed to take care of Nicole Richie's dog. She's having her own DUI hearing soon and wanted Honeychild to be looked after.
Paris: What? That's shit!
Juneau: Actually, it's a Shih Tzu.
Paris: You're siding with her now? She doesn't even have a hotel chain. Heiresses are supposed to stick together!
Juneau: I know the code, ok? You don't have to remind me.
Paris: Well, you're not following it. I bet you're even friends with Madrid Laquinta.
Juneau: You take that back! No one likes her, but she's not the biggest puta. She doesn't even have sex videos online.
Paris: He said he was gonna destroy that ok!?! I can't help it he lied; he's too smart and tricks me.
Juneau: A gerbil could trick you...

*Paris bursts into tears*
Paris: All I want is for people to like me, but everyone seems to haaaaate meeee.

*Juneau begins to storm off, but is conflicted*
Juneau: ............. shit. Aw, shh, shh. Quiet down now, it's ok. No one hates you Paris. They're just jealous. You're a beautiful woman, an exciting celebrity, and a smart .... dresser. There, there calm down. I'll look after Tinkerbell if you want.
Paris: *sniff* Really?
Juneau: Yeah, us heiresses have to stick together.
Paris: Thanks Juneau, you're the best.

*Madrid Laquinta stops eavesdropping and reveals herself*
Madrid: So, yous think just becaws yous are Americanos yous are betters than yo?
Paris & Juneau: Tu estas loco puta!

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Why I'll probably die alone by Osama bin Laden

by Jeremy May 04, 2007

1. I am in the middle of the desert in a big hole.

2. I think the Americans have stopped looking for me.

3. The Americans have killed anyone that knows where I am.

4. I was really wasted when I came here and I have no idea where I am.

5. How long can a person live off of pop tarts and beer?

6. There is a strange smell in here...

7. An alarm seems to be going off, but I can't find where it is coming from...

This list was found by Osama's dead body...
Cause of death unknown, but wmd's were found farther down the hole.

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how to write a paper on something no one cares about without really trying...

by Jeremy May 03, 2007

if you ever need to write a really long paper but don't want to work at it. do it on the history of pi.

then include pi to the one million decimal places.

for example
The mathematical constant π is a transcendental (and therefore irrational) real number, approximately equal to 3.14159, which is the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean geometry, and has many uses in mathematics, physics, and engineering. It is also known as Archimedes' constant (not to be confused with an Archimedes number) and as Ludolph's number. from wikipedia

now here it is. the key to writing a 20 page paper

http://3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592.com/index1.html