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  • Phone Calls with Your Family

    by M.J. Panek September 11, 2007

    (You pick up the phone on a Saturday morning)


    Mom says: You sound tired, honey.


    Mom means: How much did you drink last night?



    You say: Yeah, I'm not too bad.


    You mean: What I drank last night would have killed dad.



    Mom says: Well did you guys go out alone?


    Mom means: You didn't meet up with that slut last night to have sex, did you?




    You say: Yeah, it was pretty much a boys night out.


    You mean: Yes and it was filthy.



    X X X
    (Your Dad calls you after class)

    Dad says: So how was your week?


    Dad means: Did you get a Goddamn job yet?

    You say: Oh it was pretty good.

    You mean: No and I'm out of money so you better send more before I break your hip and put you in a retirement home, old man.





    X X X

    (You call your Grandma on a Sunday afternoon)

    You say: Hey grandma, how have you been?


    You mean: Mom, didn't tell you about the filthy sex I had?



    Grandma says: Oh honey it's just so good to hear your voice


    Grandma means: I hope you wrapped it up...

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