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  • The Morning After Gossip Girl

    Pret-A-Poor-J

    by Katie Marino October 28, 2008


    In the words of the great Katt Williams, "[N-word], I got shit to do today!" So this is going to be brief, which should really please all you "tl;dnr" people. Also Streeter, please don't bleep out shit.

    (P.S. "pret-a-porter" means "ready-to-wear" in French, which I did not realize. My "non-gay" best friend told me that when we were talking about this show on the phone for several hours last night. He was all, "Wow that title was kind of really stretching for a pun tonight," and I was like, "What are you talking about, homofag?" and he was like, "Blah blah blah I'm really into fashion but I swear to God I'm not grossed out by vaginas." Damn, I said this was going to be brief. Okay for serious now.)

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  • The Morning After Gossip Girl

    Chuck in Real Life

    by Katie Marino October 20, 2008


    It's autumn in New York, which means that Bart Bass is imposing curfews on his step-children. In order to make up for Serena being a socialite whorebag and Lily being a married-15-times whorebag and Eric being a gay, the family has to hunker down and abide by some rules. Serena, being used to murdering people with cocaine while making a sex tape, balks at this idea and storms out, presumably to purchase more low-cut dresses. I'm not complaining.

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  • The Morning After Gossip Girl

    New Haven Can Wait

    by Katie Marino October 13, 2008


    It seems like it's been forever since I wrote one of these puppies. Sometimes I get lazy, but a lot of people sent me messages threatening my anal virginity if I didn't write one this week, so here we are. During the episode that I didn't recap, Serena turned into a huge bitch and Jenny suddenly became The Greatest Fashion Designer in the World.

    Blair extra <3's Audrey Hepburn, and every once in a while the show will open with a dream of hers in which she is a character Hepburn once played. Usually the character is elegant and distraught, like Blair, but tonight she's Eliza Doolittle. Teetering on the cusp of learning how to talk pretty, Blairiza is more desperate than Hepburn's Eliza, who seemed not to give much of a shit whether she ever conformed to Henry Higgins' idea of what a classy broad sounds like.

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