There Is Only One October: "The Human Mating Season"

      Every year has its consistencies the changing of the season, football fever, and the dreaded month of depression we all know as February (Screw Valentines Day). Amongst all of the joys and sorrows there is the month of...

Thoughts of the Guy in an Elevator for 41 Hours

  *Watch this video before reading*  http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1812621The Beginning:  Huh, that's weird; we haven't stopped at a floor.  I wonder what has happened.  It is probably just a common malfunction.  ...

Ben Franklin Builds A Time Machine and Goes Clubbing!

 Dearest Diary,Good Heavens!  It appears I have time journeyed to the 22nd century.  I shall explore further.  As I saunter down the streets, I notice that Negroes are running rampant.  Women appear able to partake in the...

Child Grinder

Dear Alfred Nobel

I've decided that I am going to win your little prize. In fact, I went ahead and took the liberty of writing myself a check for the prize money, and signing it for you, just to save you the hassle of coming back from the dead. I haven't yet...

How to Confess You Cheated to Your Girlfriend... and Get Away with It!

Now, most of us guys know that the most important thing in a relationship is your girl. Unfortunately, we also know that getting "poontang" is more important than the relationship. Often times, these two will conflict and you end up cheating on...

How to Go Poop with Someone on the Phone

Now I know that this is a pretty rare situation, nevertheless there is going to be a time in your life where you will have to make a decision. Do I go poop with this person on the phone or do I make up a lame excuse and tell them I have to call...

Shows that Never Made it to Primetime

Survivor- Africa, with Africans Description- This time the contestants have home field advantage. Ten people from the Hootu group compete against ten people from the Tootsie group when they are randomly dropped in Africa. Expect no surprise gay...

Guy Who Gets Boners Over Nothing

Loosely based on a true story. Situation 1: Lisa: John, thanks for driving me home. Anyways, have a good rest of the night. (John goes in for the awkward hug.) Lisa: Oh my god, are you hard?! John: Nooo. *nervous laughter* That’s...

Rules of Gay

1) Nothing is gay if you are wearing pants. Not shorts, pants. Like… jeans. Wrangler or something. 2) Getting your dick sucked is never gay. 3) Anything can be straight if enough money is on the table. 4) Tossing salad is gay either way,...

Top 3 Overturned Board Games

Top 3 Overturned Board Games Over the years, board games have been responsible for some of the biggest meltdowns known to man. Below you will find a scientific study done on the 3 board games that are the most likely to be overturned. Accompanied...

Interview With a Shower Drain

Me: Thank you for allowing me to interview you today. Not many people get an intimate look at the life of a shower drain. It certainly doesn’t seem very easy to be you. Shower Drain: No problem, this is the first time anyone has ever...

Shakespeare's First and Last Entry into his Diary

I was going through my family’s old books and found the Diary of Shakespeare that my father bought at an auction. Dearest Diary, I haveth the biggest of news for thee. I prefereth the cock and everything that mine hands hath written hath...

Teach A Man To Fish

Throughout history, influential people have taken different quotes, altered them and made them their own. Here is how certain historical figures have taken the quote below and made it their own. Original Quote:“Give a man a fish and you feed...

And You Thought Pearl Harbor Happened Once

Yesterday, Novemer 5, 2007 - a date which will live in infamy-- my butt was suddenly and deliberately attacked by the nation of Devil's Diner, but more specifically its Grilled cheese and curly fry rebels. The United States of Me has been at...

The Mostly Moral Collegiate Male

What People with Certain Majors do at Parties

Many first year students, as well as those of us that have been here for several years, face a significant issue when it comes to graduating, the issue of choosing a major. The following is a helpful compilation of what people with certain majors...

What to Expect as a Freshman

Every year freshmen come to college and slowly learn to become apart of the campus social life. Freshmen year can be a very rough time.That’s why I’ve compiled this off beat list of don’ts, do’s, and things to be wary of.I...

Why I'm better than Jon Mitzel

    After years of dedicated CH love and the last three or four weeks of semi-dedicated commenting on some of the funnier pictures and articles here, I've come to the realization that anybody that comments on Jon Mitzel's horrendous attempts at...