A full-length zombie musical comedy written and directed by Christian Honce.
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(A middle aged couple, TINA and FRANK, address a circle of chairs filled with couples, including CAROL and JIM.)Tina: Welcome to couples counseling. Now I know some of you might feel a little weird or uncomfortable, but we are here to guide you...
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(Ashley's dorm room. Dan stands awkwardly surveying her room, waiting for her to come back from talking to the girl next door.)DAN (Voice Over.): Right. Be Cool. She brought to her room. Play it cool. Play it cool. Relax- Is that hers? Thong!...
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Jenny Cleaver 10/25/07 Mrs. Snowden Grade 8 Jenny Cleaver: My Life Narrorater: Once there was a real cool girl who was named Jenny Cleaver and jenny was the best and most pretty girl on the cheerleading team. Everyone always said “hey...
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Well, you know what they say, would you rather have roses on your piano or two lips on your organ? Student: A baby bear could still eat you alive. Teacher: Not before I strangle it. You could come to class naked, I'll be staring at your...
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If you lean back, it'll go down a lot smoother. Dude, I can see your mom's nipples! I have got a serious case of chocolate sauce goin on down south. That rice is moving... I bought a rectal thermometer yesterday, wanna see?...
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Well into classes now, I’ve realized that I’ve forgotten many essential items for the school year. Knowing that everyone has this problem I’ve created a tactful way to get the stuff they need from their parents. Included is a...
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7:00 A.M.: Alarm to wake up for 8:00 A.M. class7:05 A.M.: Hit snooze button again.7:10 A.M.: Hit snooze button again.7:30 A.M.: Roommate throws granola bar at your face because you’ve been sleeping through your alarm for twenty minutes.7:31...
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Fast food restaurant. Day. CASHIER: Next, please. FRANK: (Pulls out a gun and points it at the cashier.) All right, this is a stick-up! Empty the drawers! Empty the freaking drawers! (The doors fly open. Enter THE CRITICIZER.The Criticizer is a...
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Call someone a hippy Whisper in someone’s ear “Befriend” a rabbit Perform oral sex Try to look sexy Listen to a secret Drink milk Hang around cannibals Run a marathon Sneeze
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One day, Sarah was walking home from school whenher boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important. Sarah could have sworn he...
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Time to pretend like your going to “really try” this semester: it’s spring. For us freshman, the fall was a time to adjust to new settings, acquire a tolerance to illicit substances, and make awful decisions that we regretted the...
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+5 points for every time you check CNN.com in a week -5 points for every time you refresh the Facebook Newsfeed in a day +5 points for every cup of coffee -10 points for every cup of coffee past five cups -5 points for every beer -10 points for...
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Ooo girl. You lookin' fine. Why don't you let me take you for a Grand Slam Breakfast? That's right I said GRAND Slam. I ain't talkin' no Junior Slam or Homestyle Skillet, I'm talkin' classic baby. Two pieces of bacon and sausage, two buttermilk...
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1. Who are you? Lucifer2. Are we friends? I'd like to think so, you'll be spending quite a while with me in a few years3. When and how did we meet? I lured you into watching the Spice channel when you were six.4. Do you have a...
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At 4:30 today I was attempting to write a paper due at 5:00. I hadn’t read the material it was over because it was interfering with my eating-microwaved-oatmeal-while-spraying-my-can-of-air-(Dust Remover)...
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A man and a woman are seated at a table. They are wearing redneck-chic clothing.Starlene: I want to thank you for taking me out. You didn’t have to splurge. This place is so fancy.I mean, this is almost too much.Ted: No,...
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Boy: Where were you last night???? Girl: I was at my grandmothers helping her take her medication for her cancer and helping her move around the house Boy: Why didn't you fuckin call me? Girl: Baby, I'm sorry, I lost track of time!...
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Man boobs: Earth's greatest mystery. It's a question that has loomed in the minds of great thinkers for ages. Why are some men blessed with toned pecs and others forced to slouch to conceal their chesticles? Some say it's because we're lazy and...
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Kindergarten Application Essay
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You think you smell?
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A Snowmbile Accident Waiting to Happen?
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In the New Jersey/Pennsylvania area, Wawa's kind of like 7-11, except it's more fun to say when you're drunk.
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What is this creature? It can't be a human?
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Poor Kid After Christmas
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Employed Friends vs. Unemployed Friends
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Christian Honce
Syllabus for Archeology 101 with Dr. Indiana Jones
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