Costumes

In college no one cares what you wear to class, but they do care what you wear on Halloween. There are literally million of things you could dress up as; this is why your choice in costume says a lot about you. This is what you were saying this...

5 Star Wars Questions Which Keep Me Up at Night

I love Stars Wars, but I spend way too much time thinking about it. Literally, every night before I fall asleep I ponder life-changing questions about Star Wars like:1.  Why does Chewbacca not get a medal?At the end of the movie Luke and Han...

Real Life Modeling

All modeling pictures are so posed and contrived. Here's what the models would be thinking or saying if they weren't actually posing and these pictures were candid . . .

3 AM Thoughts: Top 5 Places to Procrastinate on the Internet

It's 3 am and you're bored as FUUUCK, but you're not tired.  No one writes on your wall because you have no friends and AIM is dead, thanks to Facebook chat. You're tired of that stupid charlie video on youtube and anything after david after...

World's Toughest Religious Studies Test

Clubs in College

Everyone joins clubs in college. Some people will become very involved in these clubs, however most will just show up to meetings for free pizza. Be warned though, people will judge you by the clubs you choose. You may see clubs as just a free...

Dreams I had as a kid that will never come true

Every little kid dreams big. As a kid you believe impossible things can come true. When I was a kid I dreamed of a ton of cool things happening to me when I got older that can never come true. Here are my 5 dumbest dreams as a...

Ferris Bueller All Grown Up

7:00 AM Phone ringsFerris- Hey, Cameron whats up?Cameron- I just got up. I am about to get ready for work. Why you calling so early?Ferris- You want to take the day off? It will be so much fun. I have an elaborate scheme to get us out of work and...

Thoughts of Sober Guy at a Party

9:30- Hey this party won't be too bad and I am sure my friends didn't invite me just to be their DD. It won't be as bad as last time. I won't just stand in the corner while everyone dances. And I am pretty sure no drunk guy will try to make out...

The Guitar Guy

4-Keytar. Excuse me how many instruments does your instrument combine? Yeah that's what I thought. Keytars used to popular so I am sure they are making a come back, probably. You will look like your own man because no one gives keytar lessons so...

Rejected Board Game Slogans

Twister- A fast pass to 2nd base

So I broke my phone

My mom hadn't heard from me for a while. She sent an email asking what happened to my phone. Here it is:Hello Mother,no, I haven't heard anything about dropping a cell phone in a toilet. The story I heard is as follows:It was the year 2023....

Why pro-life supporters are ass holes

So you're a conservative pro-life supporter and your worried you're an ass hole. I don't blame you. I would feel like a dick too. Here's how your beliefs go: "I believe abortions should be illegal". A life is a life. However, you haven't...

Politically Incorrect T-shirts: Rejected political t-shirts (A collaborative effort with Sean Gottlieb of UC Davis)

We've all see the commercials and bumper stickers that people put out during campaign season.  Hillary Clinton did a parody of the Sopranos to announce that she was going to try and run for president.  Mike Gravel's ad was of him...

Avoid being the party's jackass

As a reader of College Humor, you should already know how to act at a party.  Problem is though, that there are tons of people who still seem to do some of the most annoying douchebag moves at parties. Don't worry though, I'm here for you....

Mike's Guide: A man's guide to proper bathroom etiquette

Alright I want to get straight to this topic with, well, the most literal meaning of "potty humor" that I can. I'm not really talking pee pee and poo poo "potty humor," as fun as that is to write, but rather something that is much more highbrow......

Mike's Guide to Life: How to call shotgun like a pro

Well, everyone has their way to do it. Some are quicker than others, so in the end really, only one person prevails. Of course, I'm talking about the shotgun. Now, hold on college boy and college girl, because I'm not talking about shotgunning a...

From the New Shiite Clothing Catalog...

My Celebrity Drug Addicts