In college no one cares what you wear to class, but they do care what you wear on Halloween. There are literally million of things you could dress up as; this is why your choice in costume says a lot about you. This is what you were saying this Halloween with your costume choice.

It's just mean to make him stand up there without giving him a medal.

At the end of the movie Luke and Han are rewarded for their efforts with medals. However, Chewbacca does not receive a medal. Did I miss something? Chewbacca risked his life to save Luke and help destroy the Death Star. For all we know, it was Chewbacca who actually fired the shot that hit the right spot on that one other Tie fighter that bumped into Darth Vader's Tie fighter just in the right way to send him spinning into space away from the Death Star thus leaving the plot open to sequels. I for one, thank you Chewbacca. I suspect that Chewbacca did not get a medal based on race, which is total bullshit. They live in a world where Jar Jar Binks can become a galactic senator, but they won't give Chewy a medal. I'd hate to see what racist anti-Wookie laws are enacted once the Rebellion has gained power.

Every little kid dreams big. As a kid you believe impossible things can come true. When I was a kid I dreamed of a ton of cool things happening to me when I got older that can never come true. Here are my 5 dumbest dreams as a kid:

1) Play in NBA

Q: Which one do I look most like. A: None of they above

Reasons it will never happen:   I am white, unathletic, and have a 13 inch vertical leap. Some of you will point out that those characteristics describe Steve Nash. Good point. I also lack a good shot and a high basketball IQ. I am still upset with all white players in the NBA for giving me a glimmer of hope only to have reality and my JV basketball coach smash those dreams.

I would call him Steve and he totally wouldn't try to eat me

Reasons it will never happen:   Lack of scientific break throughs and safety. As a kid you don't care that your favorite movies like Jurassic Park are based on science or that your yard is not nearly big enough for a velociraptor. All you think is that if you had a pet raptor you would be the coolest kid in school. Even when I saw the raptor kill the guy in the start of the movie I thought somehow it would be different between me and my pet raptor. My raptor would be the coolest; he wouldn't try to eat me. However, they still haven't been able to clone a dinosaur and my roommates have already told me they are not cool with having a raptor in our apartment.

Those lucky radioactive bastards

Reasons it will never happen:   Lack of super powers. A terrible accident (i.e. radioactive spider bite) as yet to give me super powers thus turning the accident into a blessing in disguise. I cannot tell me how many times I have stood out by a nuclear power plant just hoping for something to happen. It might be for the best though; modern science most often links radioactive waste to cancer or death, not super powers.

The building has to be at least... three times bigger than this!

Reasons it will never happen:   Impossible to build. It seemed so simple when I was 7; I was going to build a house made of candy using my NBA salary to pay for it and live there with my raptor. I didn't realize that in the summer months the house would melt and would be invaded by ants. I learned this the one summer I tried to make my summer a candy tree house (my parents like to watch me learn through my embarrassing failures). I can still feel the ants crawling on me. It probably is all for the best, I would have just ended up trying to eat the house.

I would have kicked so much shell

Reasons it will never happen:   I am now no longer a teenager so this dream can never happen. Also, I am not a turtle. I was a stupid child.

7:00 AM Phone rings

Ferris- Hey, Cameron whats up?

Cameron- I just got up. I am about to get ready for work. Why you calling so early?

Ferris- You want to take the day off? It will be so much fun. I have an elaborate scheme to get us out of work and then we can have a day of funny misadventures.

Cameron- Dude we have a huge presentation today. This could make or break our careers.

Ferris- If anyone needs a day off, it's Cameron. He has a lot of things to sort out before he gets promoted. Can't be wound up that tight and get promoted, his new boss would kill him.

Cameron- Ferris, stop doing that monologue thing you do. I can hear you. Also, you can't afford to miss another of work. You have missed 8 days this month.

Ferris- It's cool I will just use my computer to hack into the system and change that.

Cameron- Dude your computer is like 20 years old. And they have firewalls and stuff like that at work. There is no way you can hack it. Plus, they know you are not physically there, you work down the door from the boss.

Ferris- Then I will give them an excuse. I will say my mom is in the hospital. The key to faking out our boss is giving him a nonspecific problem. I am a big believer in saying a family member is in the hospital.

Cameron- That's messed up, man. What would we even do if we took the day off?

Ferris- The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"

Cameron- That didn't answer my question.

Ferris- Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.

Cameron- Damnit, stop that. I can hear you when you monologue! You are probably looking at some imaginary camera too. Something is seriously wrong with you. Just answer me: what are we going to do today?

Ferris- Alright, we would go into the city, eat at a nice restaurant, see a museum, and steal a car.

Cameron- Steal a car!? What the hell? That is a serious crime. What else are you going to do today, snort cocaine?

Ferris- Yeah that would be cool if you wanted to.

Cameron- Dude this isn't high school anymore, you can't just miss work and steal cars and get away with it.

Ferris- I killed a hobo last week and no one found out. There are no consequences to my actions. *Laughs maniacally*

Cameron- Ummm... I am going to go call in sick so we can hang out.

Ferris- Awesome! I say we get in a bar fight. I have always wanted to stab someone with a beer bottle. That would really make me feel like I am alive! *Hangs up*

Cameron- *Calls the police* Dear God, please help me.

9:35- I know no one here.

9:36- Where did my friends go?

9:45- Why is this guy calling me gay for not drinking? I don't even know him.

10:05- How many different slurs for gay does this guy know?

10: 15- I wonder if I can convince Jim to drink for me in beer pong. I have known that guy since grade school, he has to have my back.

10:30- I didn't know Jim knew so many slurs for gay.

10:45- I should go find a corner to stand in.

11:15- I feel so safe in this corner.

11:23- Those people are staring at me because I have been in this corner for so long. I should find a new corner.

11: 42- I don't like this corner as much.

11:50- I should have just stayed home tonight and watched the Star Wars marathon on Spike.

11:53- I'm thirsty, I wonder if there is any soda here?

11: 59- Really, there are like 800 beers here and not a single soda.

12:10- Wow is this hot chick really hitting on me? She must be really drunk.

12:13- If I hooked up with her when I am sober, would it be wrong? What if I just give her my number and wait till she is sober to- Oh wow she is already making out with that other guy.

12:17- I want to go. Where the hell are my friends?

12:20- That one girl has said every song is her favorite song. I hate her.

12:21- That one guy takes off his shirt every chance he gets. I hate him.

12:22- I so am filled with hate.

12:30- I gotta get out of here. I am so lonely.

12:45- Ok found my friends. Time to go. Oh shit "I love college" just came on, now we are never going to leave.

12:46- Damnit that guy is totally checking me out.

This is your enemy

1-Harp. Simple yet elegant. A harp says you are cultured and classy. A harp also says you are a caring, gentle soul (ladies ;) )Also, you will look like an angel. Be sure to point out that your instrument has 46 strings compared only six strings. That makes your instrument 7.666 times harder to play. The women will be turned on by your math skills.  

3-Organ. People will be impress purely that your were able to bring an organ to the party. You only need to be able to play a song or two to impress people.