CollegeHumor: Edgewood Stuff http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776466 A Lecture on Plane Crashes Wed, 27 May 2009 16:51:49 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776466 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> I'd like to speak with you for a moment about cannibalism. Now when you're on a plane, and you start sizing everybody up, what does everyone always say? If we go down, we're going to eat the fat guy first. Sounds like a plan, right? Wrong. Now don't get me wrong, everyone likes bacon, but have you seen how big a piece of bacon is before you cook it? And have you seen how small that piece is after wards? Exactly, most of that fat, though flavorful, will melt away. No, what you want to do is eat the muscular guy first. Now he's going to be hard to take down, so you'll have to convince some of the other passengers to help you. Just tell them what I've told you so far and I'm sure they will agree. Now arm yourself with bits of wreckage, sneak up on Mr. Muscles, and proceed to beat him senseless. Now he can take a hit, so it will take some time to bring him down, but what are you doing in the mean time? That's right, tenderizing. You see, a lifetime of exercise has made his muscle lean and tough. A solid hour or so of tenderizing should make him just about right. Plus you're working up a nice appetite. The rest is pretty much self explanatory. Slow cook in a closed fuselage for 20 to 30 minutes. Serve with peanuts. Feeds twelve.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/2/collegehumor.b44c3e2a2ef6a78da0a5a90257814a87.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1776466">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902173 Caution: Objects In Mirror Cuter Than They Appear Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:23:04 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902173 Caution: Objects In Mirror Cuter Than They Appear nonadult comedy My dog loves hanging his head out the window whenever we go for a drive <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902173"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/d/collegehumor.4140c0ed806691e9a353a7cdd62344bd.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:206184">Guti</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1902173">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760067 Leaked McCain Attack Strategy Sun, 03 Aug 2008 11:43:25 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1760067 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> As  politically savvy members of the 18-34 demographic, I'm sure you all know that McCain has revved up his attack machine with recent gems like this and this. Now I happen to know someone that knows someone that knows someone that works in the McCain campaign, and he was able to smuggle out this document known internally as "the master plan". Needless to say, things are looking grim.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/2/collegehumor.b44c3e2a2ef6a78da0a5a90257814a87.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759972 An Old Timey Boxer Joins the UFC Thu, 31 Jul 2008 19:40:57 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1759972 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Old Timey Boxer: Hello gents, I wish to partake in your fighting association.

UFC Official: Ok, well let's get a few basic questions out of the way first. For starters, how tall are you?

OTB: I am five foot and four inches, but don't let that dissuade you. I've bested old Willie Baker, and he's a tree of a man standing a staggering five foot and eight inches without shoes.

UO: And how much do you weigh?

OTB: I am a stout one hundred and twenty six pounds, the most well-fed man at my factory.

UO: You seem a bit small for this league most of our members are pushing 200 pounds.

OTB: The depression has thinned us all out a bit, but hunger sharpens our fighting skills.

UO: Speaking of that, our fighters employ a variety of mixed martial arts techniques. What sort of experience do you have?

OTB: Well, I don't know what these "Martialed Arts" are as I've never been one for high society culture, but I can tell you I've always been quite the scrapper.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/2/collegehumor.b44c3e2a2ef6a78da0a5a90257814a87.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-07-31 19:40:57 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 34 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755704 5 Childhood Goals That I Have Accomplished Thu, 22 May 2008 21:57:59 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1755704 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> 1. Stay up past midnight.
2. Find out why Chris thinks the number 69 is so funny.
3. Go to an R rated movie.
4. Touch a boobie.
5. See Britney Spears' vagina.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/2/collegehumor.b44c3e2a2ef6a78da0a5a90257814a87.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written 2008-05-22 21:57:59 by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 108 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1804922 Lighting a fire the Roman way. Sat, 01 Mar 2008 22:20:08 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1804922 Lighting a fire the Roman way. nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1804922"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/default/collegehumor.jester.31.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:641434">Nate A.</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1804922">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1801665 That Guy had to give her beads Tue, 12 Feb 2008 02:33:14 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1801665 That Guy had to give her beads nonadult comedy Later one flashed me for my swift moves, hence why I am tagged as "That Guy Liz showed her boobs to" in the pic <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1801665"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/d/collegehumor.3635be188da63c8f5eefe89d8ca60613.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:206184">Guti</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1745032 Nothing to Fuck With Sat, 24 Nov 2007 05:21:52 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1745032 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> In addition to Wu-Tang Clan being nothing to fuck with, here are some other things that are nothing to fuck with:

1. Hut 1, hut 2, hut 3, HUT!
2. Analog clocks.
3. Guitar hero heroes.
4. Chuck Norris and/or Jack Bauer (unless you are a screen writers guild member).
5. That crazy uncle over Thanksgiving break.
6. The hometown cop who breath-alyzes you over Thanksgiving break.
7. Ear infections.
8. Ex-high school girlfriends (over Thanksgiving break).
9. The New England Patriots
10. God do I want the Pats to lose so New England will lose something besides soccer and no one cares about soccer.
11. M-E-T-H-O-D... maaaan.
12. The average white guys appreciation of Wu-Tang
13. The unluckiness of this number.
14. How great it is having mother do laundry instead of doing it yourself
15. The amount you can whack it over break instead of getting some from hookups.
16. How hard it is to come up with 36 chambers worth of numbers.

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:899181"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/2/collegehumor.d00fcaf8890c4801788bc5c208be8d36.gif"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:899181">Brain</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1745032">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1782525 A rude awakening. Thu, 25 Oct 2007 00:50:47 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1782525 A rude awakening. nonadult comedy What the article neglects to mention is that the female occupants of the room awoke to the sight him masturbating in their room. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1782525"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/0/collegehumor.7ae2e9e2fcff4d2808ce1e6043d3d647.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1780769 They must enjoy their work. Mon, 15 Oct 2007 15:28:34 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1780769 They must enjoy their work. nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1780769"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/a/collegehumor.d38a775068e8622a176cc76acfe93286.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1780769">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1743039 It tastes so bad, but it puns so good. Sun, 18 Feb 2007 23:46:56 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1743039 It tastes so bad, but it puns so good. nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1743039"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/4/collegehumor.3f1861c24133cd85629a8c345e8083b3.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1732593 Measuring in at about 9 feet tall, this magnificant piece of art is made from 72 pages of paper. Thu, 21 Dec 2006 22:30:25 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1732593 Measuring in at about 9 feet tall, this magnificant piece of art is made from 72 pages of paper. nonadult comedy This is the greatest movie ever in the history of cinema. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1732593"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/d/collegehumor.4a269b93bd7afc50e2c8c38d3c2feb92.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1732593">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1721664 Just a little useful information. Thu, 02 Nov 2006 21:28:09 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1721664 Just a little useful information. nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1721664"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/6/collegehumor.e7752a6b97ff6643c908bac6992d6cf6.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:70778">Matt</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:1055"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 2 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />