Carlos Mencia:
Never in all my life would I think to criticize an individual for expressing him or herself. Everyone has emotions that need to just escape and be articulated. Some people do this through poetry, some people sing, some people act, some people dance and some people laugh. However, one individual that I honestly think does not deserve this right is Carlos Mencia, a fat toad on crack mistaken by Comedy Central to be a comedian. The first time I tried to watch his show I didn't know if it was supposed to be a comedy or a reality show about a retarded landscaper given his fifteen minutes of fame. But then those fifteen minutes were up, and Mr. Mencia was still on television. I'm sorry but I don't see the appeal in a comedian who isn't funny. He rants and raves about things that don't make sense. His most notable one liner is, "DEE,DEE,DEE". He's not clever, not smart, not funny, in fact he's just a pain in the ass to watch. I can't imagine his mother trying to find him a baby-sitter when he was a child. The fact that he has his own show on one of the most popular channels is a slap in the face to comedy.

Hemorrhoids:
Uh oh! My behind is hurting me again. It must be those damn hemorrhoids!
A hemorrhoid is a swelling or varicosity and inflammation of veins that may appear by one's rectum or anus, internally or externally, or even both! There are three different types of hemorrhoids: the thrombosed, the prolapsed, and the strangulated. A thrombosed hemorrhoid is a hemorrhoid that's vein has ruptured and a blood clot has formed. A prolapsed hemorrhoid is basically an internal hemorrhoid that is extremely extended. The strangulated hemorrhoid is a prolapsed hemorrhoid that's blood supply has been cut off. Look out behind!

Lets think:
They, Carlos Mencia and hemorrhoids, are both a major pain to America's behind. Hemorrhoids can be avoided by drinking a lot of fluids, exercising, eating more dietary fiber, and reducing bowel movement time and strain. When dealing with Carlos Mencia, one can always just change the channel or turn the television off. However, knowing that this individual is available to my watching and seeing unavoidable billboards of him throughout the city just leaves me angered and exasperated. I can live in a world that floweth with hemorrhoids, I can never live in a world that floweth with Carlos Mencia.

The Decision: Carlos Mencia