But fret not, my friends, because as always, there are loopholes and shortcuts to get around all of your major cleansing needs. Follow these tips and you'll be cleaner than a beer bong at the service frat in no time.

SHOWERS- If you're like me, then you're used to rules like "As long as I haven't broken a sweat since my last shower, I don't have to shower" or "As long as I changed into dry clothes if I broke a sweat since my last shower, I don't have to shower" or even, "If I go to sleep sweaty, and I wake up not sweaty, I don't have to shower". But alas, it's not so easy at home. Mom notices.

Now, if both your parents work, it's easy enough to cover your entire body in deoderant a couple times a day and claim you showered while they were out. But if you have a parent who's home often, you may have to do some rinse-cycles.

RINSE-CYCLE- A rinse-cycle is exactly what the name implies. You step into the shower, turn on the water, and do absolutely nothing. Just rinse. Continue this action for 2-7 minutes. Any shorter and Mom won't believe it was a real shower. Any longer and she'll know you were just masturbating.

2. "It's weird. I never saw her smile like that when you guys were together."

3. "Now I don't have to use Facebook to jack off to pictures of your ex."

4. "Now I don't have to use Youporn to jack off to pictures of your ex."

5. "Yo, remember when I told you i went to see Wall-E with some chick and there was like no talking in the first hour so I convinced her to give me head? Check it out, she's on CollegeHumor! ... That's your ex? Shit man, I knew she looked familiar."

6. "Tell her I said thanks for putting up revealing pictures and not being a prude like some of those other girls."

7. "I never noticed that mole before, but I'm a fan. Did you bite it? I would've bitten it."

8. "If you look at it on the iPhone, you can frame her rack perfectly."

9. "It's funny how she's with a different guy in every pic, but you're not in ANY of them."

10. "I saw your girl on CollegeHumor, nice bro! Oh... you guys aren't going out anymore? But didn't you tell me she gave you head at Wall-E? Oh that was Billy? Yeah, Billy's a douchebag."