CollegeHumor: Florida State Stuff http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1923378 Sometimes just posting a sign that says, "I'm lonely," isn't enough. Mon, 02 Nov 2009 12:45:00 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1923378 Sometimes just posting a sign that says, "I'm lonely," isn't enough. nonadult comedy Sometimes just posting a sign that says, "I'm lonely," isn't enough. halloween2009, pumpkin, jackolantern, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1923378"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/8/collegehumor.2bfba8ccc05ff87753014ce8b41a8b15.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:63058">Mark</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793671 5 Ways to be a Great Creeper on Campus! Wed, 28 Oct 2009 23:21:02 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793671 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Why in the hell would you want to learn tips on being a creeper??? Easy. Firstly, if you ARE interested in a girl on campus, then you want to AVOID all of the examples below. Of course, you can always do these things out of humor to make your girl of interest laugh too - as long as she knows its a joke. Some guys actually do some of these things for sport. They just like to see reactions. Perhaps, you may be interested in partaking such a sport when you see the examples. Perhaps not. Whatever the case, this information WILL be useful to you in just about any situation on campus. Having said that; you should definitely read it, study it, and live by it... 
Poor girl doesn't know what's coming to her    

#1 Dorm Room Etiquette 
-When you become over the age of 22, move into a dorm room with all the incoming freshmen. 
-If one of your fellow roommates has a female friend over, now would be a great time to jump in the shower. After 5 minutes in the shower, stop what you are doing and start moaning incessantly. 
-Slide your Student ID or Drivers License underneath a girl's door. When you are confronted by her, lie unconvincingly about how your jackass roommates did it. 
-If you know you will have a female over in your room, print out a picture of her and hang it on the ceiling where you sleep. If you can't find a picture of her, hang 10+ pictures of just yourself around the room.




Always Watching...      

#2 On the Way to Class 
-Find a target female that has the same class as you. Every night for 30 nights, write a poem about her. Once you have compiled your poems, "accidently" run into her on the way to class and drop all 30 poem on the ground around her. 
-Hide in a tree for the night. Once classes start in the morning, find a girl that's walking by the tree on her way to class. Jump out and yell, HELLO MY PRETTY!!! and run away. 
-Approach a girl with a text book and accuse her of stealing it from you. When she says she doesn't know what your talking about, bite her hand. Hard. Then run away. (*Note, you can go to jail for this one)


Use this as inspiration for your profile picture

#3 Facebook is your Friend 
-Find a girl you barely know that goes to your school on Facebook. 
-"Like" or comment on a picture that's on page 10 of her pictures - she'll like that. 
-Create a "Fan Page" of her and become a fan. Delete any other fans that may invade your territory. 
-On her birthday, leave her a comment saying, I'm throwing a birthday party for you... It starts in the trunk of my car and ends in my basement. 
-Comment on one her pictures saying something like: You have exquisite child-bearing hips... then comment right after saying: Oops sorry, didn't mean to write that. 





Sit in the back to keep your options open

#4 While in Class 
-Sit next to one of the girls in your class. 
-If she gets up from her seat, feel her seat and say HEY! That's really warm.... 
-Find a random girl from across the classroom. After class walk up to her seat and say to her: "Hey, I saw you from the other side of the room and you are looking HOT!" 
-Ask to borrow a pen from her. When she gives it to you, soak it in KY Jelly before giving it back to her. When she asks why her pen is wet, say, Oh. Its just KY Jelly. 
-Ask her if she wants to study together sometime and get her number. Call her an hour later and when she answers, don't say anything. Just start breathing heavily. 


Exercise and eat right so you will have the speed/energy to stalk this girl.              

#5 While at the recreation center 
-Find a girl who is suntanning by the pool. Interrupt her and tell her that her skin looks dry. Offer to rub lotion on her. 
-When going to the gym, wear roughly 5-6 wife-beaters at one time. Wear dark sunglasses and pick a girl to stare at while doing sets.. 
-Grow out a thick beard, wear glasses, and walk around in a trench-coat near the pool area. 
-Follow a girl over to a treadmill. When she starts running, get on the treadmill next to her and set your speed to 13. After about 10 seconds, dramatically fall down and cause attention to yourself. 
-Find a cute girl with quite a bit of muscle. Compliment her by saying, "If I were a serial killer, I wouldn't go after you. All that muscle you got would be hard to saw through... it would be that much more difficult to put your body parts in my freezer.".


In closing, I'd like to share a creepers most valuable weapon: The Creeper Smile. The creeper smile is a powerful tool if you want to scare away just about any college girl. It will work in ANY situation on campus (creeper smile across the classroom, creeper smile on your facebook pic, creeper smile at the gym, etc). Start by practicing your creeper smile in the mirror. The creepers smile is a smile that is overemphasized; it will make just about anyone uncomfortable. Once, you think you have mastered the creeper smile, practice on your way to class to some unsuspecting girls. If they turn away, then you were successful. If they smiled back, either your creeper smile sucks or she has issues. Have fun creeping! 
An example of an exemplary creeper smile

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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2059392"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/9/collegehumor.8900f6314b83b3e12cd86e99acdfe03e.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2059392">WhatTheChaos</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793671">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922962 Uruk-Hai Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:41:59 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922962 Uruk-Hai nonadult comedy FIND THE HALFLING UGGHHHHHAAA!!! FIND THE HALFLING! <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922962"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/f/3/collegehumor.f62596dfdf7be20b6d1142e31231492e.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2059392">WhatTheChaos</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922962">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922621 Mark McGrath got hit super hard by the recession. How embarrassing is it that he has to sit in the backseat of a Kia Spectra as his chauffeur drives him around Cali. Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:53:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922621 Mark McGrath got hit super hard by the recession. How embarrassing is it that he has to sit in the backseat of a Kia Spectra as his chauffeur drives him around Cali. nonadult comedy Mark McGrath got hit super hard by the recession. How embarrassing is it that he has to sit in the backseat of a Kia Spectra as his chauffeur drives him around Cali. mark mcgrath, vanity plate, sugar ray, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922621"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/0/collegehumor.b4b18f781e357f32e4139e00f8afc82b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:26326">Stephanie Shields</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922621">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793221 Dirtball of the Week: Lil Wayne Tue, 20 Oct 2009 23:31:18 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793221 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>

Lil Wayne's Daily Activities
9:30am - Wake up wit crust in my eyes and eat soma dat macaroni.
10:00am - Work out at da local gym.
10:25am - Accidentally shit my pants while doing squats.
10:26am - Fuck it. I'm Lil Wayne.
11:32am - Arrive back at da crib
11:33am - Wipe dat ass
11:33am - Forget to shower
11:49am - Write dem beats
12:05pm - Can't think of nothin, write about how much munny I got instead.
12:20pm - I wanna write about something meaningful... like cars and hoes
12:30pm - Attempt to read "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickens fo inspiration
12:35pm - Get frustrated and eat da front cover
12:50pm - Go to da studio to shoot rap video wit Akon
1:00pm - Argue wit da director cuz I smell like BO
1:20pm - Got held down and sprayed wit a hose by da producers
1:25pm - Cry away da crust in my eyes
3:48pm - Finished shooting video fo da day and back at da crib
4:00pm - "Recess" is on da tv. Eatin a cheeseburger I found in my couch.
4:30pm - Gettin horny. Callin a hoe.
6:00pm - Takin hoe to nice restaurant
6:12pm - Ordering a lobster fo me and my hoe.
6:20pm - Got mistaken fo one of the dishwashers by a waiter. Squeezed his nuts wit my hand.
6:25pm - Lobster got here. Don't kno how to eat it. Eating napkins instead.
8:06pm - Back at crib wit my hoe. Gettin it on.
8:09pm - Still gettin it on... Gotta shit...
8:10pm - Fuck it. I'm Lil Wayne.
8:11pm - Hoe got angry and left.
8:15pm - Cryin da rest of da crust out my eyes, while wipin dat ass.
9:00pm - Goin out to da club. Still haven't showered.

Lil Wayne at his finest pose


http://dirtballkingdom.blogspot.com/
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]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2059392"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/9/collegehumor.8900f6314b83b3e12cd86e99acdfe03e.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2059392">WhatTheChaos</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793221">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922320 They seem extremely trustworthy Mon, 19 Oct 2009 17:24:51 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922320 They seem extremely trustworthy nonadult comedy Read the bumper sticker <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922320"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/4/collegehumor.562292150532c36e75904204b9fca5c2.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:141496">red</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922320">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1922304 "Let me worry about that. 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Fri, 04 Sep 2009 22:47:00 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1919120 Guess which commenter's her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. nonadult comedy Guess which commenter's her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. facebook, comment, asian, racist, <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1919120"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/a/collegehumor.44beef9369cb2b370c813d3af19909c2.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1357795">Creepie</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 21 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1918737 This is what happens when you have only guys as friends Mon, 24 Aug 2009 00:16:13 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1918737 This is what happens when you have only guys as friends nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1918737"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/a/a/collegehumor.4435c0ea46481ecf1d4f5b6aa4fac852.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1193991">bethany</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1918737">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1919045 An entire semester of drug psychology summed up in 1:38. Sat, 15 Aug 2009 19:16:41 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1919045 An entire semester of drug psychology summed up in 1:38. nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1919045"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/7/collegehumor.86fc5ed025324225e9fd4697a088ccec.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:16185">Michael</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1919045">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1918008 Blunt Wraps Sat, 08 Aug 2009 20:33:48 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1918008 Blunt Wraps nonadult comedy A years worth of blunt wrappers <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1918008"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/4/collegehumor.21890a834e7a0f93e2c2e2d4a858dde3.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:2105151">Kathy</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1918008">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1917436 Coming Soon! Wed, 29 Jul 2009 10:10:56 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1917436 Coming Soon! nonadult comedy Coming this fall, the new TV hit series -- &quot;Random People&quot; <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1917436"><img src="http://1.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/6/collegehumor.15f91420df2a708301c82de6e0403d4b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:334267">Gustavo Contramaestre</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:22"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1917436">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />