Indiana University of Pennsylvania

Black Friday Assholes

Do you know why the day after Thanksgiving is called Black Friday? It's because that's the color peoples' souls turn as soon as they leave the house at 3am that morning. This day is your opportunity to meet the biggest assholes in the world. The...

Soulja Boy: Watch Him Crank Dat, Watch Him Roll

Open letters to members of the IUP community:

These are open letters to people on campus. they know who they are. Dear Fat girl who sits in front of me in class:Hi, my name is Craig. You might not know me except for when you waddle into class 3 minutes late. I think your arms look really...

Dear New Jersey

Dear New Jersey,Please stop pretending to be a real state, us 49 others know you are not, yup even gay Alaska agreed and so did Alabama after we taught them how to read and explained it to them slowly. Stop stealing Pennsylvania and New York's...

Getting Some Wood on a Drunken Evening

(In the style of Robert Frost)Whose bed this is, I do not know.This house might be down on frat row;He will not see me leaving hereTo watch his morning boner grow.My little feet must think it queerTo be tip-toeing through this beerBefore I leave,...

A message from your friendly server.

One of my jobs during my nearly-ending college experience was working at a banquet hall.  As much fun as it sounds to wait on rednecks hand and foot while earning pitiful tips, the job was actually quite horrible.  As a bartender and server at...

Another Message from "That Sick Kid"

 Every once in a while, the Gods above part the clouds, take a good look at you, and decide that your life is going just a little too well.  The end result for you care-free lifestyle and reckless behavior.  Today: ...

People I Hate:

Angry Commentators. While other people have hobbies or jobs such as painting war figurines, juggling, or bowling; these miserable kids find solace in busting of the hobbies of others... namely CH writers.  These are the same kids who picked...

Awkward first conversation with Cody Arant: fellow CH reader.

Me Mr. Perfect Hey, what's up? God, I can't believe I'm actually meeting you.  This is blowing my mind right now.  Are you as freaked out as I am? Uh, yeah I... Ok, good.  I don't want you to think I'm some sort of crazy...

Cracking the Code:

Inside your brain hides your deepest and darkest secrets and today is the day where we find out what twisted, perverted thoughts dwell in that murky cesspool you call a mind. Sigma Sigma girl living next door: "Oh my god! That totally looks like...

Another message from "That Sick Kid"

  Every once in a while, the Gods above part the clouds, take a good look at you, and decide that your life is going just a little too well.  The end result for you care-free lifestyle and reckless behavior.  Today: ...

A message from "That Sick Kid"

Every once in a while, the Gods above part the clouds, take a good look at you, and decide that your life is going just a little too well.  The end result for you care-free lifestyle and reckless behavior today:  Strep Throat! What it...

College Humor Updates Saved My Life

Sometimes a man just has to take a shit. Not a regular run of the mill Push-Plop-And-Go, we're talking a battle so ferocious and intense it can give you a sense of shell shock. A lot of things are used in such situations to ease any pain or...

How Global Warming Translates Onto Campus

Tape those boxes back up, cause you won't be needing those winter clothes just yet!  Due to the abnornmal weather patterns cause by all the hairspray used in the 80's, our ozone has a sunroof, allowing us to enjoy our fall-like weather for...

Trading Places:

Like the "Are You Afraid of the Dark" eopiside, my parents are stealing my youth, and I think I have proof. Scenerio Them Me A...

Stickin' it to "The Man" Before Christmas Break

Everyone has that one beef to settle with a member of the University before graduation, transfer, break... whatever, but no one really have the balls to do anything about it, for instance... Smoosh dog crap in the pages before you sell back your...

You ARE Screwed!

Look for my article entitled "You ARE Screwed!"  I sent a draft of it to collegehumor.com and I don't know if it will be published but it's too long to put here.

Cars Don't Take This The Wrong Way: Broads are like cars!

By Kevin “Firewater” Herbold IVOkay before I continue all hate mail and job offers can be sent to cwzk@iup.edu . “Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.”...

Bar Snacks: Creepy Babies

I was watching the Eagles vs. Panthers game last night at my favorite bar, talking with a couple of friends when I saw the best, most random thing I had ever seen in my entire life.One of my buddies was looking through the announcements or some...

Trucks

What was once a speedy maroon standard V6 coup parked outside of my apartment is now only a sweet memory of my car, "The Red Rocket". In its place is now a 2 1/2 seater, standard cab silver bubble-tired behemoth of a truck. If I'm doing this...