Articles from Louisiana State

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  • This Week in Sports!!

    by Kevin P. August 15, 2008
    CH'ers, I am on a mission to bring you the best of thebest in all that is sports on a weekly basis. Enough chat, let's get to it!

    1) First things first. i know you all have that feeling in the pit ofyou're stomachs. That's right, ONLY 2 WEEKS UNTIL COLLEGE FOOTBALL!!!!!

     

    2) Speaking of college football, hereare some rankingsto get you ready for the season.

     

    3) USC is really itchingstory to get the season started.

     

    4) Now on to the Olympics, the greatest sporting event ever.Chad Johnson doesn't think he's the best, he knows he's the best. So good in fact,he knows he can beat MichaelPhelps in swimming. I'm going to have to disagree, but, I would like to seeChad Johnson in the next summer games, competing in the 100m doggy paddle.

     

    5) Actually if Ocho Cincodid win, the rest of the swimming world would be happy, or at least thisguy.

     

    6) Olympic fever is spreading faster than malaria in an Africanrefugee camp. However, if notpsyched about the Olympics, and you're a red-blooded American dude, here'ssomething to look for while you're roommates, bar buddies, and everyone else inthe world, forceyou to watch the Olympics. Exhibit1- Tatiana Golovin: French Tennis, Exhibit2- Nicole Hudson Aussie Field Hockey, Exhibit3-Leryn Franco Paraguay Javalin , Exhibit4- Heather Mitts, USA Soccer. And that's just some of the lesser knownhotties. Thereare tons more!!    Heretoo!

     

    7) Or, you could just getdrunk.  

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  • A day with Matthew McConoughey

    by Kevin P. August 04, 2008

    (Kevin arrives homefrom work to see his roommate, Matthew McConoughey sitting on the floor,staring at the ceiling.)

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    Kevin: Hey, what'sgoing on Matt, I see you had a busy day.

    Matthew McConoughey:Busy day indeed brah, busy indeed...and another thing buddy, call me Matt, Mr.McConoughey is my dad's name man...Haha, alright....haha.

    Kevin: *Stares at Matthew McConoughey, perplexed* Ok...Matt,did you find some time in the day to go get some milk?

    MM: Sure enough ambrosia.The ceiling is, I don't know man it's trippy...uh..haha...alright.

    Kevin: *Stares at MM, still perplexed...opens fridge,no milk in sight.*  Where's the milk?

    MM: Oh right man,you right...check out this. *opens bedroomdoor*

    Kevin: *looks in to find a goat, staring right back*It's a goat.

    MM: Right onright on. Isn't that little guy phenomenal?

    Kevin: It's agoat.

    MM: It'sbeautiful Abe-BRO-ham Lincoln...hah..uhh.It's like, there man, it there.

    Kevin: Yeah man,it's there...What the hell are you thinking, about the goat and whatnot.

    MM: I don't thinkman, I react...to the situation that life throws at us man. I embrace it and thewinds of life take me bro. Just, react man.

    Kevin: What?

    MM: ...haha, you'realright man. You really are. This is a good...moment man. Absolutely a goodmoment...just awesome. Hey, let's drink some beer with our new roommate. Right, Wayne,lets drink some beer and just be.

    Kevin: *Stares at Matthew McConoughey, perplexed* Whyare you alive?

    MM: *hands Kevin and Wayne a beer, cracks openhis* I'm not alive that's the crazy art man, I'm just living bro...justliving.

    Kevin: This is ajoke, right?

    Wayne: Bah. *eats can of beer*

    MM: No way! Wayne is officially inthe "League of Righteous Dudes." That was inspiringly beautiful on all levelsof the human and animal world. Beautiful. Haha...alright.

    Kevin: *Stares at MM* It was pretty cool.

    MM: Alright man.You getting' it brother. Uhhhh...question amigo. You know what's cool?

    Kevin: *sighs* What?

    MM: A thermosmug.

    Kevin: *Stares at Matthew McConoughey, utterlyshocked*

    MM: When you putcold stuff in it, it keeps it cold. When you put hot stuff in it, the sameexact thermos, it keeps it hot. HOW DOES IT KNOW!!...WHOA!!! Blow the mind awayman, crazy. Wayne,whatcha think about that.

    Wayne: *Stares at Matthew McConoughey, perplexe,continues eating carpet*

    MM: I got you Wayne. That cat is deep.Hey bro, let's go to the river and swim bro.

    Kevin: You meanthe Mississippi River?

    MM: Right on, themighty Mississippi...themighty MISS-AH-SSSIIIII-PAH. You want some of that cleaning river mud.

    Kevin: Do I wantthat?  Just about as much as I want to befucked in the ass.

    MM: Alright man,next time...next time. Come on Wayne,lets got get you baptized.

    Wayne: bah.

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    *Wayne and MM ride off into the sunset*

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