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A list of things that I find Awesome

by Team Awesome November 13, 2008

This is a list of things, people, and places that I think are awesome.

Steffa Metals- Steffa Metals isn't just the place that accounts for most of the money my family has, it's also a place where the immature teenagers of my family, as well as various drug addicts of Northeast Philadelphia work. The essence of the Northeast is forever immortalized in my favorite employee, who, unfortunately, no longer works at Steffa Metals. His name is Johnny Cap, we think. His permanently staggered walk and unintelligible speech are forever imprinted in all our minds. "My Team, North Catholic" as he referred to my cousins and I, no matter how many times we told him we never went to North Catholic, always put a smile on our faces because it was typically followed by a huge grin showing off his textbook crack head toothless mouth. I have to move on, but Johnny, if you're still alive and if you even know how to read, if you're reading this; Big ups to you.

The Internet- I know it may be a little cliché, but anything that provides men around the world with free boobie movies is the awesomest. Also, it allows me to write and share these thoughts with you, and even though they don't have boobies in them I hope you guys still appreciate them.

Team Awesome- This might be a shameless plug, but Team Awesome rocks. My nephews just started wrestling this year and I am so very proud. As my way of legitimizing their swagger, I was doodeling in my Spanish I class and stumbled upon the perfect name for my pocket sized killing machines. The team was so badass that it was just to great for just them and has blown up with everyone and their mother wanting to be a part of this movement. In the future, the executives, or "head ballers", of Team Awesome plan to hold various sponsored events that I hope everyone can attend.

Scarlett Johansson and Jessica Biel's parents- On behalf of all the heterosexual men in the world I want to personally thank you for bonin and poppin out these two sexalicious babes. I can't help but think you guys are bakers because these two young ladies are serious cutie pies.

Justin Timberlake- I don't care what anyone says, you, sir, are the man. Not only can this guy sing and dance like a champ, he's had his dipstick in the oil cans of some of the sexiest women on the planet. I'm not ashamed to say that if I were to get famous I'd follow this man around and sniff his fingers.

The Pill- The world's not quite ready for little Steffa's to be running around just yet.

Old Horror Movies- I don't care how good the graphics are or how much fake blood is used, nothing beats a guy running around with a nail gun and only killing sexy teenage women in the shower.

Yoga, Palates, and the Brazilian wax- If you men don't appreciate these things then you should have a gander at the original Debbie Does Dallas. Although it was epic in the porn world at the time, the lumpy and unkempt naked women in that movie will change your mind.

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