ANNOUNCER:“Hellllllllllllllo ladies and gentlemen, welcome to theJake,” aside “how the fuck are you supposed to say this, I mean really couldn’t he take the time out of his posh life to just come and explain,AAAAAAAAHHHHHH seriously…. This is fucking ridiculous.My job, quite simply, is to say this mans name……”

Director:whispering “ We’re live you dumbshit”

ANNouncer: Aloud “OH WELL SOOOOOOO SORRY JIM, why don’t you just fucking say it then.”

Director :Ab Bruh Knock ohhhh that sick bastard, get a god damn stage name.

Directors Assistant:quietly "Sir, the mics are picking you…."

Director:“ now who the fuck taught you to talk”

Directors Assistant’s Mother:“ well it just so happens that I did”

Director (Pulls out Desert Eagle .50 from coat pocket) hahaha what are the odds, ….( half sized eagle mauls the mother)

Mother: "……AHH……sel….ec…….tive breed…….ing" Gurgles Blood And Dies

Assistant:"You delusional dog fuck, what the hell is wrong with you."

Director: (Pulls out Desert Eagle .50)Ive never really thought about it, I quess, ive just been lonely, and every minute since that day in saipan, I haven’t been able to look at people the same, I mean how did pierce brosnan fit in that whores……ahhhh the nightmares, (vomits) the endurance, the stamina, he must have been holding his breath for……I can’t…..take ……it………..anymo(fires one round killing his eagle and himself)

Announcer:grabs gun alright everybody voice obviously shaking where is this FUCKING host I am going to make sure nobody, I MEAN NOBODY has to try and say that fuckers name again… what FUCKING nerve

Assistant:BUT I LOVE HIMdives for announcer

Gun fires several times during the fiasco killing all remaining stage hands, boom operators, cameramen, stunt coordinators and the voice of Kermit the frog, then after a violent 15 minute wrestle for life the final shot fires, hitting a chain holding the light rig, which falls killing the assistant and announcer.

Jake moonwalks onto the stage blindfolded, while doing the shooter McGavin

Jake :“ DEBBIE NOOOOO, nahhh she sucked in the sack, loses interest and looks in the mirror DAMMMNNNN these sequins look stellar… lights turn off “ oh what the fuck I new this studio was shit, now wheres that damn lightswitch,lights turn back on“ahhh now where was I” continues checking himself out then notices a strange shadow behind him then screams

Jim Carrey:“ Why does everybody dooothat.”

Jake : “Just please have mercy, no more movies please.”

Jim Carrey :(Vomits Blood Then Collapses)

Jake: “WHAT THE FUCK???Alright screw this im out….”

(Jake turns into a zombie just as he gets home, and turns on FOX NEWS)