CollegeHumor: Northern Michigan Stuff http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794802 Hooking up Fri, 20 Nov 2009 23:32:48 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794802 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Hooking Up

Meeting people is an important part of life in college. There are lots of people who are like you, and deserve to meet you. There are certain people who aren't looking for long-term relationships, but they are looking for someone to be their friend for the evening. I am doing a public service by providing you, the reader; with a handy guide to meeting an individual for the evening. Some people think it is important to be able to find these people in social settings that are optimal for hooking up with a person for the evening. Others think the one night stand is a part of life for some college students.
--> -->1) Bring the Proper Equipment
Being prepared is the most important thing when looking for some company for the evening. Nice clothes are a key thing to have ready. Initial appearances are important because you aren't usually going to have a lot of time to make your move. A condom is the most important thing to bring with you. Nothing ruins a perfect night more than contracting a sexually transmitted infection that will plague you for years to come. Another important thing to bring is a decent amount of money. If you decide to go to the bar in search of your target, you will need to be sociable. Having a few drinks is a way to grease the social wheels. Finding a good wingman is paramount. A good wingman will be attractive, smart, and quick witted to assist in the awkward first few minutes.
--> -->2) Select Your Target
Selecting a good target is possibly the most difficult part of the evening. The reason this is so difficult is because some targets appear inaccessible upon first glance. There are some signals that a good target will give to make it known they are looking for company. One such signal is sitting in the middle of a group. This individual is looking to visit with people, and is usually difficult to single out. This is the situation where the wingman is valued. Another signal that is given by a potential target is sitting away from the majority of the crowd. The implied meaning behind the solo activity is that the target is usually feeling alone and is looking for somebody to be his or her hero. Do not let this opportunity pass you by. It is important for you to send in the wingman so he or she can decide whether or not this person is worth spending the evening with.
--> -->3) Isolate the Target
A wingman is possibly the most important person to have in a social situation. Women are probably the best wingmen. This is because women are seen as less threatening right off the bat, but the objective stays the same. The job of a wingman is to break the social ice with your target. A good wingman will be the one who approaches the target and initiates conversation. After making small talk, the wingman will introduce the target to you. The wingman will then find ways to not let you waste the opportunity he or she has created. A wingman also is the one who will run blocker with the target's friends. Sometimes the target's friends are not keen on letting their friend hook up with you for the night. Blocking friends is more of a social function than a task. Blocking friends is the act of convincing the target's friends that you are not out to hurt the target. Some friends are difficult when it comes to persuading them. In extreme cases it may be required for the wingman to sleep with the ugliest friend the target has. The reason for this is that usually the fiercest defender of the target is something less than beautiful. This sacrifice is known as "taking one for the team."
--> -->4) Close the Deal
Once you have selected your target, and have had your wingman create an opportunity. It is your job to close the deal. This is not too difficult, but can easily sour if you don't take care to make the target feel special. Be sincere. Sincerity goes a long way toward closing the deal. Talk about things that you have in common with the target. The amount of time it takes to close the deal can vary. Let your target make the decision, but be assertive. Make it known what you want, but be cautious because this can make you appear desperate, and may be a turn off. Never make the suggestion to go with the target after everyone leaves. Your letting them make the decision is the key to making the target feel comfortable.
--> -->5) Gracefully Exit
After both of you have gotten what you expected out of the evening it is time to go. Make every effort to leave that night because you want to avoid the awkward moments that can come from waking up in the morning next to someone you hardly know. One way to do this is to have a ride ready. Your wingman is a good candidate as he or she is probably still up and moving at this time. Other good candidates are roommates, other friends, and a taxi service. If you think you want to get to know the target better, leave a way to contact you in plain sight before you leave.

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