What you write: "I'm sick. Unfortunately, I won't be able to make it to class today."

What you really mean "I stayed up all night playing Guitar Hero on expert, and I still can't beat Freebird!"

What you write: "I need to hit the dentist up for my new grill, dawg!"

What you really mean: Sadly, you probably aren't lying.

What you write: "Listen brahzilla, me and the pledges had to do some community service this morning, so we couldn't make it to class. Aight?"

What you really mean: "The pledges think Coors is better than Natty Light, so they won't stop drinking Natty until the appreciate it!" *pops collar*

What you write: "I wanted to discuss the failures of Frances parliamentary system in more detail with you. Whats a good time to come by your office?"

What you really mean: "I'm lonely. Will you talk to me?"