RISD

Queens Bound F Train

This is East Broadway. East Broadway, Canal Street. Delancey Street will be next. Stand clear of the closing door. You are now riding the Queens bound F train.Delancey Street. Delancey and Essex. Transfer is available to the J, M, and Z trains....

The Lesbian First Name ABC's

AntigoneBlythCranberryDykleyEllenFoxgloveGolgothaHoratiaIbinthJacobyKornvibeLabiannaMarnhardNapeOranginaPruneseedQuagmireRotundreaSappho2TrickUrsulaVaginoWonder WomanXoploppraYolendaZzzzzzzieatcunt

Severe Typographical Error 2

Your Daily Affirmations

You are good enough. You are always good enough. Never tell yourself that you aren't good enough for something or someone. You are. Not great or awesome or anything. Just good enough.Everybody likes you. You are the best and everyone thinks so....

grouphug.bluff

487683990:You are the ketchup on my french fries…You are the ice in my tea…You are the mustard on my sandwich…723456111:I found out the other day that neematoads, or “nematodes” as they are actually spelled, really...

Severe Typographical Error

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Queef" & "Boner"

QUEEF – an emission or expulsion of air from the vagina, usually when it is experiencing some activity or sadnessLord Dergon was unsure for some time whom in the brothel he would go to bed with until he heard a loud trumpeting from the...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Dick" & "Watersports"

DICK – an informal and often vulgar term for the central male reproductive organSteven's dick had spots on it, for he was a Spotted Man.In the beginning, human reproduction was a relatively complicated procedure involving whistles and...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "G-spot"

G-SPOT – a dubious erogenous zone on the female body that, if located, will make one winMrs. Banana kept her g-spot so secret that no man would have ever been able to find it, had they cared to look.The g-spot was first theorized in 1944 by...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Booby"

BOOBY – a woman's luscious breastBoobies are neat; I like them.Until the 1950's the word "boob" referred only to a foolish or stupid person. Wealthy American families in those times would often invite someone who was silly or mildly retarded...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Bukkake"

BUKKAKE – a sexual practice in which a woman allows herself to be ejaculated upon by several gentsOn Sundays, the Thompsons watched bukkake in lieu of performing it because they did not want to soil their church clothes.It is widely believed...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Dildo"

DILDO – a phallic object used for sexual stimulationOn Valentine's Day, the man bought a dildo for his wife because he was an utterly useless and loathsome person.It is well documented that women have used penile surrogates throughout...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Jism"

JISM – a vulgar slang term for semen (also jizz or j-spray)Rumbletum Bear and Tricky Duck saw that the dead prostitute's mouth was caked with Old Mister Owl's jism.The Welsh painter Dafydd Morgan was touring the United States in 1849,...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "XXX"

XXX – an identifier for pornography, especially pornographic moviesThe father warned his children not to look in the folder labeled "XXX" or else he and their mother would get divorced and punch them. The X's in "XXX"...

Fun Animal Facts!

Ride The Red Bull

Day ONE:This stuff looks like carbonated piss and it's three bucks a can. Who would willingly drink this? I don't know what Taurine is, but a friend of mine once told me it's extracted from bull testicles. That probably isn't true, but still this...

Collegehumor Comments On A Thumb War

Bigger Version HERE

Alanis Morissette's "Ironic," Modified To Actually Make It About Bananas

Read the article that inspired this one! Neat!An old banana back in '98It turned ripe one morningAnd went bad the next dayIt's a black fly in your banana daiquiriIt's a junior banana splitWhen you've already had three Isn't it bananas... don't...

What If, What If... Oh, What If They Were Real?

Fairies: Little winged fellows, cavorting in the meadow, kissing dew drops and granting wishes. Oh, what if you were real? Well, first of all, we'd have to develop some kind of faericide to kill them off because some people just wouldn't stand for...

Alternative Humor Explorations

ATTEMPT ONE:Q: What did the frisky dog say to Mr. Bird?A: Presumably some combination of growls and barks, to which the bird, who — by the way — is an animal and therefore unworthy of the title of Mister, would respond with a series...