RISD

I Have A Very Large Penis.

Hi there, this is something you perhaps didn’t know about me, but I just happen to have a huge penis. It’s worth getting out of the way. It’s the first thing you’d notice if we met. It’s just, I mean, I am packing. It...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Bukkake"

BUKKAKE – a sexual practice in which a woman allows herself to be ejaculated upon by several gentsOn Sundays, the Thompsons watched bukkake in lieu of performing it because they did not want to soil their church clothes.It is widely believed...

How To Fuck.

Listen up, wannabe fuckers, I'm gonna tell you how to fuck. Because I know how to fuck. I mean, like, me I know how to fuck. I don't need to be told how to fuck. It's like: fucker? That's me. I mean, I fuck. A lot. You guys? Like, y'all don't know...

Severe Typographical Error 2

Ride The Red Bull

Day ONE:This stuff looks like carbonated piss and it's three bucks a can. Who would willingly drink this? I don't know what Taurine is, but a friend of mine once told me it's extracted from bull testicles. That probably isn't true, but still this...

Display Names For Really Emo Kids To Use On MySpace

So, basically I play a game sometimes where I think of a random category and then think of the ten to twelve funniest ideas for that category. Simple. Here we go: Miser-me -=LIFE=- is too -=FAR=- to -=FALL=- sad sad sad HAPPY sad sad I...

CollegeHumor Comments On A Famous Painting

Severe Typographical Error

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Booby"

BOOBY – a woman's luscious breastBoobies are neat; I like them.Until the 1950's the word "boob" referred only to a foolish or stupid person. Wealthy American families in those times would often invite someone who was silly or mildly retarded...

Overheard At Art School

This green, it’s a fire engine green. And I know that fire engines are red, but… if this was some… alternate plane where fire engines are green, this would be the green they would be. On a scale of 1 to 10, I give this&...

My Ideas For Sitcoms That Are Actually Excuses For Really Clever Puns

A Jewish commando that runs a microbrewery on the side: He-brewer Three gay orderlies who work in an retirement home: Fruits and Vegetables A secretary is fired for being far too bashful and decides to get a job in a sewer: Flushed Down...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "XXX"

XXX – an identifier for pornography, especially pornographic moviesThe father warned his children not to look in the folder labeled "XXX" or else he and their mother would get divorced and punch them. The X's in "XXX"...

The Lesbian First Name ABC's

AntigoneBlythCranberryDykleyEllenFoxgloveGolgothaHoratiaIbinthJacobyKornvibeLabiannaMarnhardNapeOranginaPruneseedQuagmireRotundreaSappho2TrickUrsulaVaginoWonder WomanXoploppraYolendaZzzzzzzieatcunt

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Queef" & "Boner"

QUEEF – an emission or expulsion of air from the vagina, usually when it is experiencing some activity or sadnessLord Dergon was unsure for some time whom in the brothel he would go to bed with until he heard a loud trumpeting from the...

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Jism"

JISM – a vulgar slang term for semen (also jizz or j-spray)Rumbletum Bear and Tricky Duck saw that the dead prostitute's mouth was caked with Old Mister Owl's jism.The Welsh painter Dafydd Morgan was touring the United States in 1849,...

Your Daily Affirmations

You are good enough. You are always good enough. Never tell yourself that you aren't good enough for something or someone. You are. Not great or awesome or anything. Just good enough.Everybody likes you. You are the best and everyone thinks so....

Origins of Modern Sexual Terms - "Dildo"

DILDO – a phallic object used for sexual stimulationOn Valentine's Day, the man bought a dildo for his wife because he was an utterly useless and loathsome person.It is well documented that women have used penile surrogates throughout...

Alanis Morissette's "Ironic," Modified To Actually Make It About Bananas

Read the article that inspired this one! Neat!An old banana back in '98It turned ripe one morningAnd went bad the next dayIt's a black fly in your banana daiquiriIt's a junior banana splitWhen you've already had three Isn't it bananas... don't...