CollegeHumor: Savannah Stuff http://www.collegehumor.com http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794201 Daily Thanks - Horse Sex Mon, 09 Nov 2009 15:00:26 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794201 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2>
Everyday we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful that I don't want to have sex with horses.

That's right folks. This is actually a problem that some people have to face everyday of their lives. They see that mare and they can't help but stare. Something is fused in their brain which causes them to be uncontrollably driven into a state of unbridled desire for these undressed dressage maneuvers. If you don't know the term "dressage" then look it up because that was damn fine writing right there.

Some things that could cause you to want and or need to have sex with horses may include: troubled childhood, troubled adolescence, troubled tween years, troubled teen years, troubled birth, troubled breakfast, troubled first day of school, troubled attempt at making a sandwich, troubled day at the ol' cheyenne, troubled toothbrush purchasing, troubled bubble blowing etc.

Things can happen in life which lead you to feel cheated, abandoned, slighted, unappreciated, unaccomplished and sometimes just plain old shitty. However I can wake up everyday and if nothing else be thankful that I am not one of these X-rated Equestrian or as I have just made up..... X-questrian. Too much fun. A lot of people have a hard time coming out of the closet to their friends and family about being a homosexual. Imagine having to sit your family down and tell them that you were a horse fucker. "Mom. Dad. I don't know if you knew this about me already but Seabiscuit and I are somewhat of an item."

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful that I do not want to have sex with horses." Unless you actually DO want to have sex with horses in which case you must say "I think it's time to consider shock treatment."

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.

View Article
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/b/collegehumor.43173d34bd6e3c6c186ae3cb8602fd59.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641">jamie Olmstead</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794201">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794200 Daily Thanks - Hangovers Mon, 09 Nov 2009 14:32:17 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794200 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Every day we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for hangovers.

I know what you're thinking. "But Jamie, aren't hangovers a bad thing?" I say NO! A hangover is somewhat of a medal that you wear as a result of hopefully having a bitchin time. Sure they can be a bit painful at times, but I say embrace it and wear them well. The great musical artist, Beck, once said "Tell me, what's wrong with a little grind 'n' bump? when the stereos erupt with a kick drum punch?" Well, Beck, absolutely nothing! We all need to let loose like a belt every once in a while and we will always have our hangovers to remind us... Yep, still got it!

Some situations that may drive us to drink ourselves into oblivion and then awake with a howling hangover include: promotions, birthdays, holidays, finally re-tiling the bathroom, weddings, tuesdays, executions, sporting events, painting parties, having to perform an impromtu tracheotomy, trying to get girls naked in a hot tub, realizing that it's just a bunch of naked guys in the hot tub and your plan isn't working, etc.

Hangovers are Gods way of saying "I give you this incredibly complex and beautiful human body and this is how you choose to treat it? Well take this!!" But hey, your son started it with all that water into wine business! Is somebody a hypocrite?


So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for hangovers" Unless you actually have something important to do today in which case you must say "Really? Tequila? How many times must I do this until I learn!!????"

Thanks for listening. Check back for more things to be thankful for in days to come.
View Article
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/b/collegehumor.43173d34bd6e3c6c186ae3cb8602fd59.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641">jamie Olmstead</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1794200">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1924859 I'd really actually hit that Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:20:05 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1924859 I'd really actually hit that nonadult comedy My girlfriend decided, on halloween, while we were watching tv that she wanted to be a pinata. The problem was, we had already bought our costumes and had only a few hours till some house parties we were going to. I would have preferred to have the busted Tees shirt... but we made it work. She made her costume in under 2 hours with about 2000 ft of crepe paper. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1924859"><img src="http://0.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/5/collegehumor.abbbd7d945426190df78899513a6f43b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1186490">joey</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1924859">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793467 Daily Thanks - No Mouth Roof Cuts Sun, 25 Oct 2009 11:51:23 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793467 <table border=0 width="360px"> <tr> <td colspan=2> Everyday we have something to be thankful for. Today I am thankful for not having any cuts on the roof of my mouth.

We all know the feeling. Common culprits of this devious attack on our treasured mouth roof include: crunchy tacos, sharp cereals, chips, fried foods, sandwiches with toasted bread and mouth rapists. For the sake of dramatic effect I will say that there is "nothing worse" than having an intimate moment with a delectable snack or meal come to a screeching halt when said food item decides to "bite back".

So let's all take a moment and say "Today I am thankful for not having any cuts on the roof of my mouth"

Unless today you DO have cuts on the roof of your mouth in which case you must say "My life is a little bit worse today because I have cuts on the roof of my mouth, but tomorrow is a new day and I will approach it with grace".


View Article
]]> </td> </tr> <tr> <td colspan=2> <hr> </td> </tr> <tr><td valign="top" width="35px"> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/4/b/collegehumor.43173d34bd6e3c6c186ae3cb8602fd59.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> Written by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641">jamie Olmstead</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/article:1793467">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1923104 Office Freak Out over a candy bar Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:46:28 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1923104 Office Freak Out over a candy bar nonadult comedy My submission for the Protect Your Butterfinger Competition. Did not even make the finals. bologna. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1923104"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/3/3/collegehumor.45489e337fd899ec139c0dd3ebee1337.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641">jamie Olmstead</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1923104">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1920192 Yo Benjamin Franklin Wed, 16 Sep 2009 14:40:42 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1920192 Yo Benjamin Franklin nonadult comedy I know these are going to be old soon, but I thought I'd get one in before the novelty wore off... <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1920192"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/6/8/collegehumor.b334ac466e0b80834eeedf38ca4e4258.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:69291">BoStaff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1920192">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1919831 Sorry Grandma Thu, 10 Sep 2009 14:55:28 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1919831 Sorry Grandma nonadult comedy I forgot my grandma was tech saavy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1919831"><img src="http://9.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/1/3/collegehumor.f1c86ee1bccb907ac7f81213923f8681.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:74937">Ryan</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1919831">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1910369 Nip-Stik Wed, 06 May 2009 21:27:14 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1910369 Nip-Stik nonadult comedy behind in the fashion trends? pick up a nipstik and throw some D's on 'em. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1910369"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/0/1/collegehumor.da97b3a07d8b08f77d6664d177be87ab.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641">jamie Olmstead</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1910369">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1909454 New Running Technique Tue, 28 Apr 2009 21:41:28 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1909454 New Running Technique nonadult comedy Is it still cheating if it doesn't give you any advantage? <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1909454"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/c/b/collegehumor.a326976cdcefb2ccc18120ab31bf316b.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1847136">ijrn</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1909454">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1908536 When the fishdicks joke goes south Wed, 22 Apr 2009 02:14:50 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1908536 When the fishdicks joke goes south nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1908536"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/2/collegehumor.3958a8aec5434bcd73a88fd2a9d52430.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:69291">BoStaff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1908536">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907584 EMO Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:00:15 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907584 EMO nonadult comedy turns out to be some old guy's initials. still doesn't know what it means. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907584"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/a/collegehumor.17c3a50957e76d0e7328071a93ba4b40.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:243110">Geoff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907584">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907581 that eye Tue, 14 Apr 2009 16:51:07 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907581 that eye nonadult comedy i thought both of my friends were sleeping on the trip, turns out jack sleeps with one eye open <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907581"><img src="http://8.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/5/d/collegehumor.377aa2858008533736d1ab6d4f6232f1.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:243110">Geoff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1907581">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1902174 Walter The Drunk Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:33:22 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1902174 Walter The Drunk nonadult comedy This is my alcoholic neighbor that lives down the street from me. I've been filming him for years and now its time for the world to see him. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1902174"><img src="http://4.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/8/0/collegehumor.0aa97778a0fffa193985eb709ce50c26.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1937862">Tripp Derrick</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1898013 Sponsor An Executive Today Fri, 23 Jan 2009 19:10:53 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1898013 Sponsor An Executive Today nonadult comedy For less than the cost of 1000 lattes, you can save his lifestyle. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1898013"><img src="http://7.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/e/1/collegehumor.91898d4ea58184a0271219a18d08321f.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1024287">Sam</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1898013">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1896456 Beas Ho-Made Products (http://www.beashomadeproducts.com/) Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:04:41 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1896456 Beas Ho-Made Products (http://www.beashomadeproducts.com/) nonadult comedy Looking for porn and got this... <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1896456"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/7/8/collegehumor.b0b1dd3736f65acb21aa8e1888b8b67a.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:428441">mon freire</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1896456">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1891651 winter that guy Tue, 25 Nov 2008 04:30:49 -0500 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1891651 winter that guy nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1891651"><img src="http://3.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/2/3/collegehumor.3be71712fe545884d672be43ed71bd8e.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:243110">Geoff</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1891651">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1833169 ROCK BAND 2 THE MUSIC VIDEO Thu, 09 Oct 2008 23:16:10 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1833169 ROCK BAND 2 THE MUSIC VIDEO nonadult comedy www.thegameheroes.com creates the most epic music video of all time....and flames <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1833169"><img src="http://2.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/d/c/collegehumor.eb7dc3ad8a7441569c523abc0a8457e2.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1186490">joey</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 6 likes </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1832473 The rare girl-boob-stare Sat, 04 Oct 2008 12:54:17 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1832473 The rare girl-boob-stare nonadult comedy <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1832473"><img src="http://6.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/3/collegehumor.2400c44b46bce748711e5e43efd64b87.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:38533">illtickleurelmo</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1832473">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1817718 Grip It and Rip It - The Ripstik Movie Thu, 29 May 2008 20:04:13 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1817718 Grip It and Rip It - The Ripstik Movie nonadult comedy a mockumentary about a team of ripstikers and a look into the life of what it is like to be a part of the new craze. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1817718"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/9/1/collegehumor.bfc080e9ff450806e5d6682124af5eb7.png"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:494641">jamie Olmstead</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 0 likes so far. <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1817718">Be the first!</a> </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr /> http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1812740 My Hero Wed, 23 Apr 2008 02:33:30 -0400 http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1812740 My Hero nonadult comedy It says 'Lifted because fat girls can't jump.' The truck was raised to have a total height of 12 feet with humongous wheels. We saw it in Savannah, GA at Tybee Island. <table><tr><td> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/picture:1812740"><img src="http://5.media.collegehumor.com/collegehumor/ch6/b/7/collegehumor.550b6ffb6bc91bba4f923587be723a77.jpg"></a> </td> <td valign="top"> <p>Uploaded by <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/user:1024287">Sam</a> <a href="http://www.collegehumor.com/school:226"></a> </p> <p> <img src="http://www.collegehumor.com/artwork/icon_likeIt_noLink.gif" align="texttop" /> 1 like </p> </td> </tr> </table> <hr />