Santa Clara

Top 5 Drunken Sing-A-Longs

1. "Don't Stop Believin'"� by Journey - Possibly the best song regarding taking midnight trains to anywhere. Immediately recognizable opening? Yes Easy to remember lyrics?: Yes Killer solo for air-guitarring?: Yes, One Talking points: Not...

High School Power Rankings

They're out! The 2006 High School Power Rankings! Much like the College Power Rankings this is a scientific analysis of the coolest high schools in the nation. See how your school did. (If they did not appear on here, just throw a kegger on the...

DMB + AIM = Winning Combination

Do me a favor and check two things for me: how long you've been online and your iTunes top 25. Chances are your online time is being measured in days and your iTunes top 25 is at least 1/3 Dave Matthews. When these two forces meet they create...

Bro, Not Even, I Got A Boo

In response to yesterday's Dude, Don't Even Bother, Cause I Got The StarOh you think you're hot sh*t now that you got the star, huh? Well you better watch out, because I'm taking it like those gangbangers took your sister's virginity. In yo' face!...

Annoying "Price Is Right" Contestants

If there is one equation to remember during finals week, it’s that “finals week = no classes = Price is Right.”  It’s your classic transitive property of what to do when you don’t have school, dating back to your...

Pioneers in Immaturity: The Hand Vagina

Christian Jones is not a name you might recognize, but he has had a profound impact on history.  A world-renowned shadow puppeteer in his time, Jones’s contribution to this world was stumbled across by chance.  “I was just sitting in...

Thanksgiving Break Wall Posts

Thanksgiving break is only about a few days away, so be sure to keep up with everyone via Facebook wall post. Here are a few examples! For your good friends For your not-so-good friends For your ex !split For the people in...

How To Tell If She's A Virgin

Does your girlfriend maintain that she's a virgin, but you're just not sure?  Here's a quick checklist to help you figure out if that cherry's been popped: Her copy of the "Kama Sutra" has check marks on certain pages She lets slip the...

Famous LOLCats

One Person Drinking Games

Are you being forced to be the only one to stay in the dorms over Thanksgiving because your parents don't love you enough to pay for a plane ride home? Don't let that deter you from still living the college lifestyle bro! Here are some ways to...

Dressing For Theme Parties Without Looking Like A Gay Ass D-Bag

College is a time of intellectual growth, finding one's self, and parties. Namely, theme parties. As if drinking keg beer and standing in a circle with your friends while looking for anything mildly attractive/drunk wasn't fun enough, the party...

An Awkward Conversation

Just after finishing intercourse...Boyfriend: Oh, that was so good...you're uh, you know...good, right?Girlfriend: Oh yea, that was great.Boyfriend: Yea, definitely.Girlfriend: You faked it though.Boyfriend: ...what was that?Girlfriend: You faked...

Wii-ness Envy

Hey guys, I know I might be a little late on this one, but I really want a Nintendo Wii.  I've played it a few times and thought the bowling game was kinda cool, but I just looked at everything it can do, and one thing in particular really aroused...

Employed Friends vs. Unemployed Friends

Employed Friends vs. Unemployed Friends Only calls at four in the morning in a dire emergency Only calls at four in the morning to see if you wanna go on a burrito run Voicemail is...

Differences Between Mario Kart and the Real World

Certain mushrooms make you go faster :: Certain mushrooms slow everything down drastically Peach can crash into a wall and survive :: R.I.P. Princess Diana The Hammer Brothers do not make an appearance :: I owe Vince and Tony...

A Conversation Between Dave Chappelle and Carlos Mencia

Dave Chappelle:  Hey Carlos, how’s it goin man?Carlos Mencia:  It’s pretty bueno Dave.  Yourself?Dave Chappelle:  …Umm, yea, it’s all good.Carlos Mencia:  So what’s up?Dave Chappelle: ...

Answers to Your Family's Questions About School

Nothing is more mind-numbingly painful than having to say how college is going to all of your relatives, seeing as how they all ask the same questions. Without fail. Every holiday. For four years. So, to answer their questions about college...

Complaints From The Guy Who Misses The Big Picture

Every single time I'm done boning my girlfriend, she makes me take a shower.  It's so f*cking annoying! I swear, if I have to make one more trip to the bank to deposit a check, I'm going to straight up murder someone. Why did you guys...